When Illness Becomes a Gateway to Spiritual Awakening: Ofer Niv's Journey

Ofer Niv00:00:00

But then we went to North Carolina, to the mountains. We're sitting in a room and there was a guest that was a shamanic healer. She says to me, at some point, I see a part of you in front of your body.So I'm sitting, I'm feeling a little nervous. I don't know what's going on. I'm thinking maybe Ms. Is coming back because everything feels weird.And what she's saying is, you know, I feel a part of you that is in front of you. Would you like me to bring it back into your body? And I said, yeah, of course. And because it felt really uncomfortable.And she put me flat on a table. I had 15 women around me. She's the expert, is giving the instructions. And what happened?It's hard to describe, but to just give you a summary, I released fragments of souls that were trapped in me. I received parts of my soul back that were in all sorts of places and there were curses that were being undone.There were all sorts of stuff going at the end of it. So that took about an hour. And that changed me so much.

Matt Gilhooly00:01:06

Today's guest is Ofer Niv. After receiving a life altering diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, Ofer was faced with really a choice.He could accept the limitations of his condition or really embark on this journey of self discovery and healing. What followed was truly a transformation and it was one that not only led to the disappearance of his Ms.Symptoms, but it also really shifted his entire approach to life, work and relationships. In this episode, we talk about the pivotal moments that shaped his path.From a shamanic healing session that reconnected him with lost parts of himself, to really discovering the power of meditation and finally energy healing. We discuss how his inner alignment brought this calm to his household.It reshaped his relationships, and it truly opened his heart to a deeper spiritual connection. Ofer's story is certainly a testament to resilience.It's also about the importance of listening to ourselves and again, the potential for growth that lies within all of us. So without further ado, here is my conversation with Ofer Niamh. Matt. I'm Matt Gilhooly and this is the Life Shift.Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever. Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Life Shift podcast. I am here with Ofer. Ofer, I said it wrong already.

Ofer Niv00:02:43

Ofer.

Matt Gilhooly00:02:44

Ofer, I apologize. Well, welcome to the Life Shift podcast.I like to keep this in because, you know, I'm human and I make mistakes and we just talked about this, so thank you for Being a part of this journey.

Ofer Niv00:02:54

Absolutely. It's nice to hear my name said it always.

Matt Gilhooly00:02:58

At least someone's talking about you, right? Like, that's how I feel. If someone's saying my name, someone's talking about me.

Ofer Niv00:03:03

There you go.

Matt Gilhooly00:03:04

Well, thank you for wanting to be a part of the Life Shift podcast. I was telling you before recording that this is like this journey, this unexpected journey for me that I started.I guess I was 41 when I started this, and it has been so unexpectedly healing for me. This, the Life Shift idea for this podcast.The podcast actually started in a class because I was getting a second master's degree during the pandemic because I was bored, and I was like, what do I. What am I going to do for this podcasting class? And so I thought of my own life story and how can I have these conversations with other people?And I came up with a life shift and really where it stems from. And I know we all have multiple life shifts, but When I was 8, I was visiting my dad. My parents lived about a thousand miles apart.I lived with my mom in Massachusetts. My dad lived in Georgia. And I was visiting him over the summer.And one day after summer camp, my dad had his boss's wife drive me to his office, which was so weird for me. And he had to sit me down in his office and he had to tell me that my mom was killed in a motorcycle accident.And at that moment in time, which was 1989, I was eight. No one was talking about grief.No one was talking about how to help an 8 year old go through the process of, like, losing their entire future, essentially, because I think everything that we had dreamed for, my life, was now going to change because I was gonna move to a new state, move in with my father, not have my mother figure anymore, start a new school. All the things were so different. And what happened is, like, all the.All the adults around me, you could tell that they wanted to just make sure I was okay, make sure I was happy. And I absorbed that. And so I hid the fact that I wasn't happy and pretended to be happy, tried to be perfectionist, try to do all these things.And behind the scenes, while I was grieving my own way was like, do other people have this, like, line in the sand type moment in which everything shattered or everything changed, or they woke up one day and everything was different? It turns out people do.And so I've just been so lucky over the last couple years to Talk to over 170 people now about these life Shift moments in which something that is so easily pinpointed changed everything and the trajectory of their lives. So that's a little background for anyone that's tuning in to hear you and hear your story.So, you know, thank you for just being a part of this healing journey, no matter what we talk about today, because the human story is so impactful and so helpful. So thank you.

Ofer Niv00:05:50

Sounds beautiful. And like I told you before, we just started, very refreshing because I don't think that I've had had an online conversation like that. So very cool.

Matt Gilhooly00:06:02

It's. It has taught me so much about listening. You know, you think of a podcast and you just think of like voices talking.But as a host, I realized that my story is just a tiny blip in this journey. And it's about how can I listen, really listen to someone's story and ask them the questions.Like I told you before we started recording, ask them the questions that growing up I was taught that I shouldn't ask, like the curious questions, the things that might make people maybe a little uncomfortable or share something they've never shared before. So it's really been quite a learning experience as well to just be like a better human.So, you know, like the story, the storytelling aspect of it is just like so inspiring. So I'm really looking forward to hearing your story and, and how you set it up.But before we get into that, maybe you can tell us or you can tell us in 2025, how do you identify who are you in this day.

Ofer Niv00:07:02

And age Already an interesting question. I feel open, very open to new learnings. Life is not easy, but life is extremely interesting and exciting. That's what I feel.

Matt Gilhooly00:07:21

I mean, that's awesome. Do you, what do you do on a daily.

Ofer Niv00:07:25

I've been all my life, almost professional manager, all kind of stuff. What I do since retirement is energy healing, specifically something that is close to shamanic energy healing. I developed my own way of doing this.Been doing this probably almost 10 years and I started doing it full time after retirement, retiring in at the end of 21.

Matt Gilhooly00:07:56

So welcome to retirement. It's funny to hear like you were in like management and stuff like that and then to hear what you're doing now. Is it more like heart driven center?Like you've really like, this is your passion?

Ofer Niv00:08:08

It absolutely is. It is something that started from, if we can talk about a pivotal moment, it's something that started with getting sick.And it's not the first time I got sick, but maybe it's the first time that I had to pay attention, like really pay attention. Let's say that I was hypochondriac most of my life. So I always thought in one way or another that I'm very sick and that I'm going to die. And.And then in 2000 things started to get a little more serious. Like, no, the blood test is fine, everything is good. There actually was a problem.So in 2001 I was identified with thyroid cancer and as a result the thyroid got removed. I think at that time I just got interested in what does it mean to be healthy and how to stay alive when you have a problem like that.I was lucky to have a very easy cancer. That's what they said, that if you have to have a cancer, have this one. And then, and then 10 years later.So I, I don't think I really focused on that much. I mean, it bothered me a lot. But then I went back into the daily GRA grind of trying to be really good at what I do.And that included periods of months of sleeping like two hours a night and trying to catch up on email or doing deliverables. And at that time I was a senior manager at Wells Fargo bank, so big bank. A lot of responsibilities.Being always waiting to wake up in the middle of the night with some call, this needs to happen, this doesn't work. Stress was building up and I was, I was aware of to some degree until I started to feel someday tinglings in my fingers and it wouldn't go away.After several days I started to feel tingling in my feet, in my toes, and I went to a doctor. It turned out that this is multiple sclerosis. It was a long line of tests to prove this.Once it was proven, it basically said that things were going to have to be managed. There is nothing that can heal this in western medicine.It started a long journey for me because I really didn't like to hear that, that something happens that will shorten my life, that my nervous system will deteriorate. It was also diagnosed in a. In a very strategic place, like right at the connection point between the head and the, the rest of the spine. And so it's.It was affecting a lot of things in the head. The whole body was affected by it. And this was the beginning. It got worse.And so they put me on some medicine and what happened to me then is I just started to be very curious about what can change that will get me out of it. Because I knew that lack of sleep, a lot of stress, not a good thing. I started to read books, I Read book. I read one book about Ms.That taught me how to change my supplements to address the situation. So I did. But I didn't really know if that was gonna work or not because everybody is different. And my symptoms didn't go away.My fear didn't go away actually was highly anxious. I remember all sorts of treatments at home when I was having old.I don't even remember what they're called but I was trying to maintain a life of work but only like a half speed of what I usually went. And the second was like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do?I felt not for the first time, but maybe at the first time that it's like I'm, you know, I'm gonna die. I mean it felt really real for me. I remember a trip to Italy at around that time that was just pre planned.I didn't really want to go because I wasn't, I was depressed. And it's like we're in, in Tuscany, we're visiting galleries, we're looking at places and I. Is this the last time I see this?I mean when I'm saying it now I'm feeling like maybe there's a lot of self pity involved but it felt very real for me.It felt like this is it and, and I literally felt like my body is losing force, like I don't have muscle strength and some of it was probably in my head and. And a lot of it was just kind of imagining of how it's going to happen and it didn't feel good.

Matt Gilhooly00:13:07

I was just curious if, if because you briefly described like your work ethic before all this and kind of this like achievement type culture like chasing and, and trying to do more and do better.Do you think part of that played into the fact that you were now diagnosed with something that didn't necessarily have a cure or an answer or something that you could button up or close or you know, figure out the answer to was part of. Do you think some of that played into the way you felt about this?

Ofer Niv00:13:39

I'm sure it did because I like to know that I can control outcomes and I've been a manager for many years and you sort of have the expectations and you also have the means to make something happen and you also have due dates and there are deliverables and yeah, you feel like I know how to do this and then there is suddenly something that there is no manual and you would be amazed if you knew how many how to books I have because I was always interested in how do you do something? So I think my how to kicked in, but from a different perspective because there was no traditional way to change that. I had to be on medication.There was no traditional way that I knew what to do. The only thing that I could do is maybe go a little bit slower and take my time and see what happens. And I started doing this.In fact, I started to meditate. I learned that, you know, you slow down and you start to meditate and things just felt different.I mean, I didn't have any revelation, but I think what happened is I opened up to the possibility that the change is not going to come from anything that I'm going to do, but maybe it'll gonna come from me not doing anything.And that's where I ended up, is just working, still working because I had to work, but then meditating, taking it slow, and listening to some podcasts that I found interesting. And one of them was so interesting because it's talked about life purpose, which never occurred to me.

Matt Gilhooly00:15:27

No. Well, you had the purpose. Like.

Ofer Niv00:15:30

Yeah, my purpose was, you know, money, be like dad, make money, be a manager. There was nothing that was. That really came from a deeper place. Yeah. And so I heard this woman that really ignited my imagination in.In terms of what is it really about? Like, what is this? What is what I do at work about? What is my relationship with my wife about? What is it about and what's going on? What it.What would make my heart happier? That was one of the topics. What would make my heart happier? And I never really thought about this.It was like, yeah, what would make my heart happier? Going to bed earlier and delivering something that was due, but there was nothing else.And so this was a life changing program that I joined with a group of 15 people where we started to talk about why we're here. It was so life changing. I mean, we touched on very big topics. For example, I never thought about how do other people see me at work?I mean, it just didn't cross my mind. Although I had a lot of, you know, managerial training and stuff like that.But it was just a different level of looking at internal representations at what you think, how you see yourself, what is your image to yourself. And at the end of the year, without even trying, my symptoms were going away. My symptoms were going away.

Matt Gilhooly00:17:11

Wow.

Ofer Niv00:17:12

And. And it was just because I discovered that something.I think, I think the main thing that happened was that I was no longer at the same level of need for external approval or external guidance.As far as, you know, what I'm supposed to do who I'm supposed to be and started going more in and discover there's something here that actually nobody gave me. It was always here and I can always find it. And when I find just feels good, it feels connected.And when that happens, there is nothing that can take it away. It's not conditional. It's. I'm not going to be there only if, you know, I do this or that or whatever. It's always there.And that was very pivotal for me because it gives you. It basically gives. Gives you a level of power back. Like you, you feel like, yeah, I got it.Even regardless of what's happening in my body or around me.

Matt Gilhooly00:18:16

How hard was that to go to, like, switch from this mentality that you, like, grew up and then into your adulthood and you're checking all these boxes of achievement and getting, you know, getting the next promotion because that makes you, quote, unquote, look good to the world and successful and all these things. And now you're sitting in a place in which you have to turn inside. Was that a difficult switch for you?Because I would imagine that for a lot of people that have lived their life in that way, it could be scary or challenging.

Ofer Niv00:18:49

I found it scary for. For stupid reasons, not. Not for good reasons. I found it scary mainly because I worked for a bank. And this was.Some of the conversations were really what I would say, Woo, woo. Kind of things about.

Matt Gilhooly00:19:04

It's not black and white, like your job.

Ofer Niv00:19:06

No.And I was literally thinking that somebody at the bank would know that I'm having these conversations and they would say, you know, you don't do this in a bank. I mean, it was, it was so weird. And of course, a moment to understand. Yeah, that's, that's the level of me being a soldier.You know, I also grew up in Israel and I have been a soldier. And so my, my entire life leading to that, I was pretty much told what to do. I mean, it was like laid out.

Matt Gilhooly00:19:41

Right. Even if it wasn't. It was.

Ofer Niv00:19:44

Yeah.

Matt Gilhooly00:19:45

Really?

Ofer Niv00:19:45

It wasn't, but it was. Exactly. And so at the age of 18, I became a soldier. And then I've been several years a soldier and a commander.And then I knew that I needed to go to school and then I needed to find a job and maybe, maybe a shift. There was that. Me and my wife, we decided to move to the US From Israel. And that was a brave decision, but I'd say she pushed for it.So even this was kind of going along. I was not really in the habit of Making a lot of personal decisions and asking what is really, really, really, really important.For me, I was more in a supportive role. I think it took me years, it took me years to understand that it's okay to ask these questions. What do I need? What do I need?I always knew it intellectually and because what I do now is energy healing. I can see so many people that come to me that what's happening is we think we just have to.It's just our job, it's just our responsibility to take on other people's stuff. It's a habit that is causing all sorts of problems. But it's easy to be there.

Matt Gilhooly00:21:02

Oh yeah. I think we're conditioned, I think.

Ofer Niv00:21:05

Yeah.

Matt Gilhooly00:21:05

And maybe we're getting a little bit better now.But when you were, when you said what you were doing, felt maybe what you would have described at the time as a little woo woo and you were a little nervous that if someone found out. It's funny because I think of that's kind of what I love about having these conversations is because in my mind someone out there is listening.They feel like they're the only person that is feeling a certain way about something whether maybe it's even just like they're doing something woo woo and they're like worried no one else does it and they're the only person that does it.But then they hear someone like you share this story out loud and it like gives them permission to feel validated in the way that they, they feel about themselves that they're not the only ones. It's not something weird or embarrassing or any of those pieces.And it's like the more conversations we can have like that, the less opportunities for people to feel like they can't share all of themselves with other people for fear of whatever that might be. They probably wouldn't have said anything. But at the same time we put that fear in ourself.

Ofer Niv00:22:10

So true. I remember having a phone conversation before that one year long program with the organizer because it was not a cheap program.I have to make a heavy financial decision. And it was like, so what's in your way? What is in your way?And I like, you know, when I'm talking about, when I'm hearing you talking about like the Rothschilds and these 12 families that run the world, I'm feeling like I'm in information technology. I have this engineering kind of capacity. And then you're talking about these things.And I'm not sure that all these big corporations don't actually listen to their employees and that somebody may be thinking, is he going crazy? Is he going nuts? Am I going to keep my job if I'm going into this program? I mean, that was a real fear for me. Yeah, I'm so glad that I let it go.I mean, she, she ex. She explained also that it's gonna be safe. And, and a lot of it was, you know, it was all, it was really all.I mean, today I would say I don't really care who listens to my phone. That's, that's how it is today for me. But it wasn't me then. It was absolutely not.

Matt Gilhooly00:23:23

But what year was that?

Ofer Niv00:23:25

This was 2015. 2015 is when the program started. At the end of the program, like I said, my symptoms, they were not there anymore. So what happened?We went to a get together. We met in different places in the world, like Canada in Ireland, which was beautiful. But then we went to North Carolina, to the mountains.We're sitting in a room and there was a guest that was a shamanic healer. I didn't know it at the time. I just knew she was a friend of the host of the program.She says to me, at some point, I see a part of you in front of your body. So I'm sitting, I'm feeling a little nervous. I don't know what's going on. I'm thinking maybe Ms. Is coming back because everything feels weird.And what she's saying is, you know, I feel a part of you that is in front of you. Would you like me to bring it back into your body? And I said, yeah, of course. And because it felt really uncomfortable.And she put me flat on a table. All these people in this self discovery program, except for me, were women. Because that seems to be. At least then that seems to be how it worked.Like women were way more interested in self discovery and intuitive kind of stuff than men. I think this is slowly changing. But I had 15 women around me. She's the, the expert is giving the instructions. And what happened?It's hard to describe, but to just give you a summary, I released fragments of souls that were trapped in me and some, some souls that were inside that were, that were not me. I received parts of my soul back that were in all sorts of places.There were aliens ETs that are coming from different planets to do work on me on different issues, including whatever, whatever remains of the Ms. And. And there were curses that were being undone. There were all sorts of stuff going at the end of it. So that took about an hour. And that changed me.So Much that, that was like the last day, the one day before the last. The next day I felt great, but nothing unusual. And then I flew back. When I flew back to Phoenix, when I. That's when I lived down Phoenix, Arizona.I just felt shivers go up and down my spine of excitement. Like something that I couldn't contain. That was really. I never felt it, but the feeling was I can't hold, hold these. This energy. I need to know what.I need to know what she did. I need to know more. I just needed to know. And so I contacted her and I said, I need to know what you did. Because everything changed.And now everything, everything feels so great. And I don't know why, but I felt like I really want to know what she did. I want. Maybe because I'm so much better, I can start helping others.I came for a weekend in Longmont in Colorado. It was just mind blowing. And after that I. I was just hooked.And so one of the things that I remember from this weekend is we were several people in the room and everybody put something like a. A sticker on your forehead. And the sticker said. Said something. I didn't know what it said, but another person is assigned to me.And this person starts talking to me. And the way they talk is based on instructions on this. And I was so triggered by that conversation.It brought all sorts of feelings of inadequacy and, you know, not good enough and stuff like that. And it was just a great demonstration of how people label us, how labels happen.Because there is this energetic thing that is called a marker that is like a label that energetically tells people how to treat you. And this was just a demo for that. We did some really exciting stuff with.I think there was people from other planet being from other planets coming, helping with the healing. And at the end they said, okay, when is your next program? Because I want to take it now. Orderly.And so because she had a teacher's program first and then the 101 version, I just decided I couldn't wait. So I took the teacher's program first, which was great because it meant that I had to drop all pretensions that I knew anything about anything.And I just came in, everybody was experienced and I was the only one that. That had no experience in this realm. It was a great study. I mean, everything changed after that. It was seven days.And after these seven days I knew that I'm going to eventually stop what I did for a living and become energy healing. It was just a healer. It was just a knowing at that point. But it became real more and more with time.

Matt Gilhooly00:28:48

And the more you kind of leaned into it, then got more real. And I think as you tell that story, I see like the older version of you.And imagine like you telling after that energy healing session in North Carolina, imagine going back to like the guy checking his emails at 3:00 in the morning and telling him about that experience. Like you pro.You probably would have been like, that's not even in the realm of like what exists in your life at that point in time, would you say so.

Ofer Niv00:29:23

I just couldn't connect to it in the same way. I mean, I still had to do work, but it's changed how I did work. I'll give you an example.I had a boss that spoke really loudly all the time, every time he would talk to me. And also unnecessarily because we're sitting like I see you're on the screen, that kind of distance.But it's also the energy of what he would say was very pushy and in the old offer would just take it and say, maybe something is wrong with me, maybe, maybe I need to change something or I just can't stand it. And you know, I'll just, I'll just shut up and go do something else.But I told the guy as he was doing it because I just couldn't be the same anymore. When you talk, it's like you're pushing me in the chest and it feels bad. So I don't. Can you, can you be a little less aggressive?Because I could feel it. I could. The way I sensed things changed. I was not as concerned to tell others, you know, in real time.If there was a problem, then, yeah, you know, if it's affecting me, I'm not planning on getting sick again. So enough. That, that was, that was how I felt.

Matt Gilhooly00:30:45

It's, it's, it's so interesting too because I, as you tell the story, the, the, the change in you as a human, like in the way that you approach things and listen to things and care about things.It's so like high level and, and part of me, even though I've been listening to your story, almost forgets that this whole journey was triggered by your body telling you something through your diagnosis and the, the symptoms and the stuff that you had.And it's so interesting to me that when you started listening to yourself and, and going inward, your body also at the same time was, I don't want to use the word fixing itself, but kind of finding a way to, to Reduce the symptoms. And it's. It's just interesting to me that, that. That becomes almost like that second layer.Like your bigger story is, is this transformation of you, like, turning inward? Do you see it that same way? I mean, I know we came into it talking about these diagnoses, but that's.

Ofer Niv00:31:51

A big part of it. Yeah, absolutely. And you mentioned also earlier about how.Did you say something about listening, how you found that by doing this podcast, you listen, you found a new way, a new level of listening. And that's kind of what happened to me too, is you start to really listen. So you realize at some point that you're actually not alone. That's me.That you're not alone in the universe, that there are things that are. That are like guidance. If you want to be quiet enough, you can listen to the silence instead of the chatter that is going all the time.I heard a shaman saying that as far as hearing goes, you should listen to what's outside of you, 80% and only 20% to what goes inside of you, because what goes inside of you is chatter. But I would say, in addition, these 80% should also go inside. But learn to distinct.To have a distinction between your own chatter and between guidance, because these are two different things that are coming through the inside. And it's.And it's kind of interesting because guidance, the way I know it, divide, guidance, actually speak through the throat, not through the years. And so for me, that's. That's a place of distinction. You're so right in that I have to learn to listen to my body.I had to learn to listen to something that is not my mind, because my mind was talking endlessly, ceaselessly, all the time.And I learned how to go into my heart and find out that the heart is probably more important to start with, you know, when it comes to intense desires, kind of deep understandings. I didn't want to be. There was a period that I said, I don't even want to be considering the brain anymore. I'm done with the brain.Then, you know, life goes on, and you discover that you actually need your brain.

Matt Gilhooly00:33:58

You need a combo.

Ofer Niv00:33:59

You need a combo.

Matt Gilhooly00:34:01

Yeah.

Ofer Niv00:34:01

But, you know, there is a place called the Heart Math Institute that show electromagnetically that whatever. Whatever you experience here register electromagnetically in the heart a fraction of a second before. Which is. Which is really cool.And so I just learned to listen to what my heart wants and what my heart is telling me and what guidance is telling me. And I was told all my life as a. Especially as A man, I think, but also, I don't know, maybe as just, just.Just as who I was, that I am not intuitive, that I have no ounce of intuition in me, that not even try. And I was told that by a lot of people that I know, friends, people that were close to me. And I think they were right.Because when this was how I thought, that was the truth. And the reality was that when I learned that this is not the truth, that everybody has this capacity, I changed.And I changed in a way that is so significant that now I totally see how everybody has this intuitive capacity inside of us. However we get it doesn't matter if you hear something or you see something or you just know something, but we all have it.And we're conditioned, you know, like you said earlier, we're conditioned to think that we can't or that we don't have it. And it's. It's just. It's just not the truth.And it's not helpful because then we forget that we can actually heal ourselves when we have this inner alignment.

Matt Gilhooly00:35:40

Yeah, I would say that society is very conditioning in that way. And even you kind of mentioned the gravitation towards, like, how to books kind of relates to that in my mind too.It's like we're just looking for the solve a lot of the time as. As a lot of us work through life. It's like, here's the next obstacle. How do I fix that? Here's the next thing. How do I fix that? How do I move forward?What do I do next? It's never like, here I am, here I am, and sitting with myself and all. It's. It's so counterintuitive to what society teaches us to do.Just like the first half of your life, you know, like, you know, trying to achieve and trying to do all the things that your father thought you should do or, you know, like whoever in our lives thought we should do those things. And then to learn this, you're like, oh, oh, this changes you.

Ofer Niv00:36:38

Right?And there are two things, at least, that I'm thinking based on what you're saying, that all these how to books, I mean, they represent also the notion that all this wisdom is out there. It's not in here, it's there. And you somehow have to reach out and acquire it or it's not going to come.Which is an interesting way to look at things, given that besides people, every other animal just knows how to do stuff. We're the only ones that think we need to figure it out. And there's definitely value in learning. And you know, I love to learn. I learn every day.It really makes me happy to learn. So it's not about that.It's about understanding that the capacity, the tools, the ability to know what you need to know in a given moment is actually there. It's like, how do you prepare for a podcast? How do I prepare for a podcast with somebody?I think I should know, I should remember because this is the topic I should remember to talk about points A, B, C or D or there is just a knowing that it's going to flow because, because it'll come at the right moment, when it will. And I had to learn it because I just started getting on podcasts, you know, not, not that long ago.And I thought I needed to have a lot of preparation and it's, it's counterproductive if you try to do that.

Matt Gilhooly00:38:05

I agree. You know, part of it, part of what I said about the listening thing is like my conditioning growing up was very much, I call it society's checklist.I call it like all the things that no one actually told me I had to do. But I absorbed that.You know, you had to graduate high school, then you had to go to college and you had to get a good job, then you had to get a promotion and you got to buy a house. And you know, like everything was just like a checklist and I was just chasing the next one.And so related to the listening thing is part of that conditioning is I, you know, I was going up in the positions and every time we would have like a team meeting, I wouldn't really listen. What I would be doing was listen for the next silence in which I could share the smart thing that I had prepared in my head to say.So everyone heard me say something smart. I wasn't listening to the conversation.It was all about how can I perform in a way that someone gives me the approval that I need or the check mark that I need at that moment in time.And to your point, what you just said is like, if we know everything is naturally like, where that conversation is going to go is going to come from here. You don't need to worry about that. You just, you forget the points and the conversation will take us where we need to go.That I always think of those moments of like me, 30 something year old me sitting in that meeting, like waiting for the next, like, don't forget, don't forget what you're going to say because as soon as there's a silence, you're.

Ofer Niv00:39:36

Going to Sound smart and then scolding yourself for forgetting this one point or that one point that you were going to talk about. Right.

Matt Gilhooly00:39:43

Plus, I didn't get to hear anything that anyone else was saying because my mind was so focused on not forgetting that one smart point.

Ofer Niv00:39:50

Absolutely. I mean, I, I also, in becoming just. And it's not. I don't identify myself with being a healer. This is what I do.What I identify myself today is with just allowing myself to be whatever wants to come out. So be authentic.

Matt Gilhooly00:40:10

That's hard.

Ofer Niv00:40:11

Whatever it is, it's great. And, and now I love healing and so that's what I do.But I, again, I, I can see how listening, really listening is so different because you listen not just with your ears, you listen with your entire body. And your brain is. Your brain has to do something else.In fact, sometimes I'm not sure that I always even listen with my brain because my brain likes to do what you just described. Sometime I kind of send my brain to play outside and I'm trying to listen with my heart because I think it'll be something more authentic.And of course, the brain always participates, but it's like it's always trying to take over and as you say, be the smart guy in the room. That is, is not deep, not necessary. Not bringing anything forward and also not making people happy.

Matt Gilhooly00:41:05

No, they don't care. Yeah.

Ofer Niv00:41:07

Yeah.

Matt Gilhooly00:41:08

You know, I wonder, and I don't know if this is something that would happen, but, you know, you had this life that you lived in the way that you lived it and the way that you approach things. And maybe it was brain first. You're married, you have a kid. How do. Do those relationships change when you change the way that you exist, essentially?Like, how do. How does changing so much inside yourself affect the people around you? Does it make things better? Like, where do we go from here?

Ofer Niv00:41:38

I would say that the best answer would probably be to ask them, because I don't try to change them. I think they are changed because I changed. I think there is something energetic about it, you know, because we radiate who we are.And so when you're next to somebody, if you're going to be angry, they'll react to it. If you're going to be something else, they'll react to that.Or I think, I think what happens with me is when I'm really aligned with who I am and I'm not just an explosive reaction to something which happens. I'm still here. There is, there is something that I can, I can say just More calm and quiet in the house.Because we're not Italians, but we sometimes behave like, you know, in these sitcoms or, you know, moonstruck. That kind of, this is what we are. This is what people in Israel are like. This is how we grew up. But I think there is a lot of calm.No matter what's happening outside, no matter what's the external pressures are. We know how to be calm and how to be calm towards one another, which. Which I like, this is. This is probably a big.A big thing that I brought in because there was a lot of drama before.

Matt Gilhooly00:42:56

Part of my brain was like, I wonder if he's gonna say that, like, his wife likes him better now because he's a different way, or like his son.You're connected more because, like, part of me is like, that has to be so interesting as the person on the outside, the person that isn't going through the.

Ofer Niv00:43:13

Yeah, we're still very different and have different opinions about all this. Like, my wife is not necessarily into a lot of woo, and I re. I totally respect that. It. I think.I think that we just don't have to be the same, which maybe is a different thing from where we were before.

Matt Gilhooly00:43:32

Yeah, no, that makes sense too, because if you're fully aligned and content in the way that you're moving through the world, that almost seems to automatically make you respect how other people choose to do the things in their own space. In my opinion. I don't know. I'm not where you are yet. Maybe someday, but that's my assumption.

Ofer Niv00:43:57

You are where you are.

Matt Gilhooly00:43:58

Yeah. Which is different than where I was, so.

Ofer Niv00:44:02

Exactly. Yeah. I really know that it's annoying that what we feel, what we are, we radiate outside.I sometimes tell people, just do this experiment, you know, be angry or be something else, be worried, and then go into the supermarket and get that experience. And then the next day, do this exercise that I'll give you to calm yourself down and see everything differently and to feel very centered in you.And then going to the supermarket and see how the line is different and it will be a different experience.

Matt Gilhooly00:44:38

Yeah, no, I. I think that's.It's a beautiful thought for someone very regimented, still absorbing some of society's checklist and still fighting against, I don't have to be perfect anymore. I don't have to do all these things that I thought I had to do for so long.I mean, a lot of my perfectionism pieces came from my mom dying and then thinking, if I'm not perfect, my Dad's also gonna leave, so that's a. A trauma piece that I probably need to leave behind at some point fully. But, you know, I. I feel like I'm.I'm making baby steps towards, like, the version of you, but not quite there yet, which is okay.

Ofer Niv00:45:21

I'm where I'm at, which is perfect. That I'm not sure that I am where I'm supposed to be either. Well, I am where. Exactly where I am.

Matt Gilhooly00:45:29

Yeah.

Ofer Niv00:45:30

I am where I am.

Matt Gilhooly00:45:31

Yeah. And. And so nowadays, as you live in this aligned. More aligned purpose, I guess we should say, how does that impact your.Your diagnosis these days and your symptoms and those kind of things?

Ofer Niv00:45:47

I haven't been taking medications since 2020.

Matt Gilhooly00:45:51

Wow.

Ofer Niv00:45:52

And last year, my doctor said you don't need the annual MRIs anymore. So even the doctor think I'm done. So I'm considering myself now. Complete. That's done.

Matt Gilhooly00:46:06

That's amazing. And you mentioned that growing up, some might say you might have been a hypochondriac of some sort.Do you have those tendencies anymore because of this alignment?

Ofer Niv00:46:19

Much, much less. I. I'll also admit that these days it's really easy to go to ChatGPT and say what's going on? And.And get an answer, so you don't need to wait for the doctor. But I'll say that I'm. I have this knowing inside of me that I'm actually fine now.I know to make a distinction between something is really wrong or I'm just feeling that something is wrong, but everything is actually fine.So I needed, for some reason, karmic reasons, to have a lot of trials and errors, but I got to a place where I don't worry much about my, you know, like, I'm gonna die from this or from that, or something is really. My body is falling apart. I don't have that anymore.

Matt Gilhooly00:47:05

Yeah. So you're living more in the present and not catastrophizing what could happen in the future.

Ofer Niv00:47:10

Yeah. And of course, I have this knowing that, you know, we're getting older, but it's a big. It's a big difference.I think that I was so afraid of death before when. Where today is. I think I understand more death. There is this shamanic practice that says, you know, you.You can experience or learn how to die before you die, so you don't need to die when you die.

Matt Gilhooly00:47:35

That's perfect.

Ofer Niv00:47:36

And. And I. I do this. I do this in my work. You know, I saw.We sometimes go to places where, you know what it's going to be like between lifetimes or what it's going to be like after death. And when.When you just familiarize with yourself with these kind of completely different concepts than what I had before as growing, growing Jewish with very different concepts, it makes things very different. And I'm not saying that there is no fear. There's always fear, and fear is probably healthy for survival.But the problem is when fear becomes constant stress, that doesn't have to happen, and it doesn't happen for me anymore.

Matt Gilhooly00:48:17

You just alluded to it. But did you grow up with. With faith or spirituality or any of this? And if so, how did that change?

Ofer Niv00:48:27

My father was born to Orthodox Jews, very religious, but he rebelled. He escaped when he was in his teens and joined the Israeli army because he just didn't want to go to school, didn't want to go to synagogue.And so I grew up with parents that were not religious.It took me a long time to sort of get around and recognize that there is actually something out there, however you want to call it that is bigger than me. And it took years. It took. It took a lifetime for that. And it's very different. I have three. Three brothers in Israel.I think they're still kind of where I was when I was in Israel, in that consciousness. And we have great connection. But there are things that are very different between us now.

Matt Gilhooly00:49:22

Yeah, I mean, it sounds like that also might have given you the freedom to define on your own terms what your connection to the universe and the bigger powers and all these things are, versus someone that maybe grew up in a religion or more of a strict.

Ofer Niv00:49:41

I know by the book. I'm actually thankful about that because I see how. I see how religion can create a lot of shame and guilt and stuff like that and fear.That is not really necessary. And I'm not saying by any means that religion is a bad thing. It's what you do with whatever you believe in.But I consider myself now not religious in the terms that I follow a script, but I'm spiritual. And I certainly recognize that I'm not the only thing or the top dog or anything like that in the universe.

Matt Gilhooly00:50:21

Yeah. Which maybe the earlier version of you was chasing to be the top dog at Wells Fargo or wherever you were, you know, those particular places.

Ofer Niv00:50:28

You were right.

Matt Gilhooly00:50:29

Realizing that we're just kind of like a speck of thing, you know, like a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things. And maybe that helps us not worry or stress about things as much because we're just a little piece of the big puzzle.

Ofer Niv00:50:45

Yeah. It's nice to know that we're linked to everything, but we don't have to take care of everything.

Matt Gilhooly00:50:52

Yeah.Something that, that left my mind and just came back was this idea when we now the third time that we've talked about how to books and the idea that so many of us exist on this, on this earth, and we see the. The how to books as answers, as solutions.But I bet there's a group of people, and maybe you're included in this, that see the how to books more as learning someone else's story in a way, learning how someone else figured it out and not so much as the solution, but just another way that something has been done in that particular way. Does any of that resonate with any of the thoughts that you have about that?

Ofer Niv00:51:35

Very much. This is how I learn. Yes. I learn to take what I need and leave the rest.I don't feel like I have to listen to everything the way somebody else experienced it, but I can always learn something new and then adopt it. I like that.I mean, I'm aware that there are patterns of energies like rituals that really have power because they've been repeated exactly the same over and over and over for a thousand years. And so a lot of people feel the same thing when they do it and it has power. But this is not how I want to live my life every minute of the day.So that's the exception.

Matt Gilhooly00:52:13

No, I mean, I just. That visual came to my mind in this conversation.So it's something that I've never really thought of before as a how to book being like more of someone else's story and their way of doing things. And I was of the mind until this conversation that they were just like, I go to that so that I can solve this problem that I'm facing.And maybe I'm going to. My outlook has changed a little bit just in this short conversation. So thank you for that.When you're looking at all the life shifting moments that you kind of discuss here, which I'm sure there are a lot more besides the ones that you talked about here, which part of that do you feel is most pivotal? Was it listening to that podcast? Was it talking to that person?Was it your diagnosis, like, which one do you feel like really pushed you in this direction to be who you are now?

Ofer Niv00:52:59

I believe it's the. It's the physical.It's the physical change in the body that started the process, because it was like a downhill process that got accelerated big time with this diagnosis. I felt like I had to do something. Maybe I would fall on something else. Who knows? Maybe I would find a miracle herb that would have cured me.But that's not what happened.So I think, if you want to think in soul terms, I think my soul term, my soul directed me to this thing so that I could find that podcast, that program, that way of living. But the guidance had to start in a big blow to the way I lived my life. And that was the physical. So that was like the triggering moment.

Matt Gilhooly00:53:52

Yeah. And, you know, I asked that because I know people, and I know people do this, that, and it's fine because they're human.When you get a diagnosis like that, sometimes you just don't do what you did. Right. Like, you. You just take it, and then that's what it is, what it is. Right. And this is what I have to accept. And the fact that.That you had the fortitude or the.Your energy, your soul wanted to do something else, to figure this out is testament to the resilience of a human being as well, and how you will do that. But also, there are people that wouldn't be triggered to go that direction.

Ofer Niv00:54:37

I had experiences exactly like you described, like the cancer that I had before. You know, it's just. It is what it is, and you just have to keep on going.And for some reason, and I think this is coming from above or from the soul level, that this was something that needed to happen so that I do something else.

Matt Gilhooly00:54:57

Yeah.I kind of like to wrap these up with a question, and I'm wondering if you could, if you now 20, 25, could go back to you those days when you were getting two hours of sleep and stressed about the next contract that you had to sign or problem you had to solve. Is there anything that this version would want to say to him?

Ofer Niv00:55:18

The first thing that came to mind. So I'll say that you're not alone.

Matt Gilhooly00:55:24

Yeah. And it's going to be okay. Which those versions of us would be like, what are you talking about?

Ofer Niv00:55:32

Exactly.

Matt Gilhooly00:55:33

I don't.

Ofer Niv00:55:34

But if I heard this voice, then maybe something would, like, what is it? Where did it come from? But, yeah, I mean, I. I needed. I needed to know that, because you don't have to do it all by yourself.

Matt Gilhooly00:55:46

No, but I mean, you were conditioned in a way, as a. As a guy growing up. Like, there were certain things that you absorbed that you thought you were required to do or be. I get it.I wasn't allowed to cry for the longest time, and I'm like, why not? Now I can, you know, like as a full blown adult, I like it. So just bring it on, you know.Well, thank you for, for allowing this conversation to go in all sorts of directions and, and share your story in this way because I think there are a lot of people out there that are living or have lived the life that you did live and maybe are feeling drawn towards things that you do. So thank you for sharing this to help them feel less alone.

Ofer Niv00:56:28

And thank you for allowing me to say whatever comes up, that was good.

Matt Gilhooly00:56:33

That's, that's how we do it.So if someone is interested in finding you or getting in your orbit, getting in your circle, whatever you want to call it, what's the best way to get there?

Ofer Niv00:56:46

Www.alchemical alchemical alchemical flame. One word alchemical flame.com is my website and there is a free bi weekly group thing that I do. It's like a guided meditation activation.It's free 30 minutes. You can afford 30 minutes. It's every other week on Wednesday and it's a great way to know more about how I do what I do.

Matt Gilhooly00:57:16

Awesome. Well, we'll put that link in the show notes. Are you on social media or any of those pieces?

Ofer Niv00:57:22

I'm also on Facebook and Instagram. If you look up alchemical flame, two words probably or one word you'll find on your website.

Matt Gilhooly00:57:31

Right. Is it linked on your website?

Ofer Niv00:57:32

It's also on the, on the website. Right.

Matt Gilhooly00:57:34

Awesome. Yeah.So if, if something in this conversation triggered you to want to know more, please go to the link in the show notes and reach out if maybe if there's someone out there in your life that, that you think might need to hear this story, please share this episode with them. I would greatly appreciate that. And you know, thanks again for your time and just being present in this, in this moment, in this way.

Ofer Niv00:58:00

Thank you, Matt. Always a pleasure.

Matt Gilhooly00:58:03

I, I, I'll tell you, this is always a healing journey and you gave me something, a lot of some things to think about moving forward. So I'm just so grateful for people like you. So thank you for that. Also grateful for people listening. That's also a wonderful thing.As a podcast host, if you are listening and you enjoy this, a rating review on Apple Podcasts, I guess is the best thing that I can ask for right now or follow me on social media and otherwise I'm going to say goodbye and I'll be back next week with a brand new episode. Thanks again. For more information please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.