Randy Redd Reflects on Life Changes and New Beginnings - The Life Shift Rewind

Hello my friends.I just wanted to drop some special bonus episodes into the feed that you probably have not heard unless you are a part or an early part of the Patreon for the Life Shift Podcast. If you don't know, I do have a Patreon. It currently only has two tiers.One is a three dollar a month tier just to support what I'm doing, helps cover production costs. And then there's a five dollar tier which will get you episodes early and just the, I guess warm fuzzies for help out with the Life Shift Podcast.But I used to have other tiers where people were so generous and were offering additional money each month to get bonus episodes and possible winnings of T shirts and all sorts of things.And then I realized a couple months ago that I wasn't able to deliver what I wanted to, especially for those of you that were giving me the extra money. So right now we're just kind of doing the early episodes. You'll always get those.So if you want to support the Life Shift podcast, please jump over to patreon.com forward/thelifeshiftpod podcast and you can find that information there. But I come on here because I want to share a series of these bonus episodes that I did early on in the Patreon journey.There are like 20 plus episodes in which I had bonus recordings with previous guests. So I would go back and we would have a conversation about the experience of sharing their story on the Life Shift podcast. Catch up on anything.And I think these are super important and I know most of them did not see the light of day from outside of the Patreon. So I'm going to be dropping these episodes. Whatever you're listening to now is another episode. So I'm going to use the same intro for all of them.But here is one of the bonus episodes with a former guest from the Life Shift podcast. And if you like this, let me know because I'm thinking of bringing some of this back and talking to previous guests as I go into year four.So enjoy this bonus episode that was once released on the Patreon feed. I'm Matt Gilhooley and this is the Life Shift Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.

I am here with another bonus episode with my episode 14 guest, Randy Redd. How are you doing, buddy?

I'm good. How are you, Matt?

Always good, especially when I'm talking on the Life Shift podcast.It's, it's fun to, to do these bonus episodes and revisit with either friends that I've known for a long time, like yourself, or people that I feel like are friends now after digging deep into their life shift stories. So I'm really honored that you're. You're part of this as well.All right, so on these episodes, just as a reminder to everyone, I like to ask kind of similar questions about kind of the after the recording feeling that my guests had. Some of my guests have talked about reflections that have occurred after the fact, and I believe you're one of them.So I'm interested to hear what you have to say about that.But as a reminder to people, your episode was really about living a long time, doing the things that you thought were going to bring you the joy in New York City, in Broadway, and kind of being successful in all those spaces and still finding that happiness, but then knowing it wasn't always, like, you always felt drawn away, you needed to leave. Or. This is my perspective of your story. And it wasn't until years later, what we're talking, maybe 20 years, 20 plus years in new York.

Easy there. Let's not give too much away.

But after all that time, kind of deciding to finally leave and then finding where everything just felt right in Memphis and kind of creating a similar world, but the world that. That makes sense to you and supporting other artists and whatnot. Did I recap that a little bit?

Yeah. It was all about change and, you know, new beginnings and finding a deeper sense of purpose.Yeah, I had a lot of fun in New York and a lot of success and came to a place where I felt a little bit like I was spinning my wheels, but had that sort of creative seeker spirit that I just needed to find a deeper sense of why, like, what was I doing and why was I doing it.

And you weren't pulled away just once, right? You were pulled away a few times or you tried to quote, unquote, escape multiple times.

Yeah, I. I moved to Atlanta once and then ran back to New York City. I spent lots of time in la.I went on tour, like, intentionally went on tour several times to sort of get out there and shake it up and see what. What might be out there for me. So there. There's always been this deep sense of kind of longing. And it. It's a creative longing.It's a belonging longing, a sort of where do I fit? Like, and I don't know. That's. That's what that episode was all about and what my life has. Has been about.

And I wasn't sure if you had ever kind of vocalized your story, you know, from that. From where you started theater school and then moving there and then kind of finding this new space before, how did you feel?Like, after we pressed the stop recording button, did you have, like, any sense of. Or was it weird or how did you feel about that?

It was. It. I was very emotional after that session. I. I have told my story before, but usually in a more performative context where I'm.I've either done a class or a masterclass or a workshop, and then there's a Q and A afterwards, and based on very specific questions from students or the audience, I respond in the moment to something very specific.And I've never really had the opportunity, I don't think, to kind of lay out my narrative with very little preparation or kind of, you know, planning lay it out in a way that was just. And then this happened, and then this happened, and all the surprises that came up. So, yeah, I was very emotional. After we were done.Our conversation stirred up a whole lot of what, in the moment, felt like unresolved stuff. I just felt very unsettled in a. In a. In a curious way.I don't like to sort of, you know, describe it any other way except I was fascinated by it, like, curious about it. There's, you know, right away, there was that initial, like, oh, my gosh.

What.

What did I just say? I hope I didn't talk too much or say something dumb. But, yeah, I was.

I was emotional to that point. I'm assuming you listened to your episode when you listened to it. Did. Did any of that get resolved, or was it. Was it weird hearing yourself?I personally love to listen to the episodes when they come out because usually there's a lot of time in between when I recorded it and when I edited it. And sometimes I'm like, I didn't even realize we talked about that, or, I can't believe I said that.Did you have any of those moments when you listened back?

Yeah, I definitely had those moments and was happy that it. I was very happy with the episode and that it. That it played as naturally and organically as it felt.I intentionally did not, you know, make notes for myself. I just wanted to, like, roll with it in the moment. And I was surprised that, you know, one thing that I felt was, oh, my God, I talk a lot.But in the. Yeah, in the. In the conversation, I. I started to see all these connections that I hadn't seen before.I saw pieces of my own puzzle that just didn't fit. And yet I was still in The. In the storytelling. I was still trying to force them into place.

Yeah. So that, that's. That's something. Did you resolve that? Like, were you. You said you were curious after you had that conversation. Did.Were you able to put between it in which you were okay, that was just, you know, part of the journey or. That puzzle piece does fit, but maybe not in the way I thought it did.

Definitely it. It. What has. What I'm pondering, even right now, like before I got on the call this morning, I am still thinking about it and thinking about lots of.Lots of those puzzle pieces in my life. But one thing that's clear and something that I have just.I don't know if acknowledged about myself is that I have always been on the move, always changing, always seeking growth and something else. I'm a Sagittarius, so maybe that's just in my nature.It's just so clear because even in New York, I count up the number of times that I moved from apartment to apartment to apartment to apartment. I moved so many times. And if I reflect on that within those apartments, I kept rearranging the furniture over and over and over. And I was constantly.I am still in pursuit of change and growth and looking for what's next.

Do you think those moves were we're looking for what's next or were more about the change, more about something new, less about? Because I feel like knowing you for so long, you often do get drawn back into some of the things that.That are comfortable, I guess, or something that you know how to do, yet you're always still seeking. It's almost like there's two parts. There's the thing I know how to do and I'm always going to do that.And I'll still get drawn to it even if I don't want to do it. But also, like, what else can I do? Do you feel like you're toeing the line on that a lot?

I do. And it's important for me now to make that distinction between what's habit and what is familiar, you know, the things that are familiar.And then even within that, making a distinct distinction between what's working and what's not working so that I don't go back to repeating things that just simply didn't work before. Instead, you know, sometimes I change just for the sake of changing, you know, and without a lot of intention or thought. And that.That gets everybody into. To murky water, I think.So you have to be intentional about change and the pursuit of growth and, you know, you're not just changing for the sake of changing.So sometimes I think it was a sense of dissatisfaction with the current situation, and other times it really was just, well, let me look at this from a different angle, and that. That could be a creative project, a writing project, a directing project, or it could just be like rearranging the furniture in my apartment.I just want to see it a different way. I want to sit in this chair and look out the window from this side of the room.

I think. I mean, I. I personally have made changes in my life, and I think looking back at them, I look at them as if I was just trying to.Or I thought that that change was going to change things that I probably needed to work on myself and not, you know, like, just a new environment is going to change everything.When I know now, looking back, that there was something inside that I was trying to scratch that itch or something I needed to fix when, you know, my less logical brain at that time was just telling me, oh, a new environment will be something that. That brings that change for you. Something will be different now.

I think that scratch that itch is the perfect way to describe that feeling. And, yeah, those, Those sparks, those.Those little gut feelings and something I've been thinking about a lot lately, like, you know, trusting my gut and how many times I've ignored it or how many times I have trusted it, but. But getting at it, like, whatever that once. Once you have that itch, you can't deny it.And if you deny it, you're just pushing down what I see as a creative impulse, some instinct, some reaction to something, or just a need that goes off in our. In our minds organically that we have to pursue. Pursue whatever that feeling is, you know, scratching that itch. It's such a.Such a perfect way to describe that.

Listening to your story. Was there something about when you were.Because when I listened to it, I saw the joy come to you when you were talking about what you're doing now or, like, what you were doing when we were recording it and, and difference of the Randy that I knew that lived in New York and how you describe your life now in Memphis and the things that you're trying to do with your organization and. And the projects that you choose that you actually, like, actively seek out. Did you get any of that feeling for yourself, listening to yourself?Like, did you notice how you spoke about your past versus what you're doing now? And did that inspire any changes since then?

I did. That's all so true. I am much happier now than I was then overall.And what one thing that I really felt when I listened to it and sort of reflected on everything we talked about from inside my story, from my perspective, it all felt so major. Like I was excited to talk to you because I thought I had this major life shift.You know, I thought, to me, the move from New York to Memphis was huge kind of uprooting and finally like making that move, that big change and everything that went into it and everything, the thought process behind it. But after I heard, all seems to have rolled out kind of naturally and almost effortlessly.It all felt like complete and total utter chaos in the moment. But when I listen to it, it all sounds pretty easy. At least as I told it, there were some. Some interesting details in there.But as I told it, I was like, well, that sounds. Yeah, that sounds pretty. And then this happened. And then this happened.It almost sounded to me like as if I had like, you know, climbed some mountain, like some big feet. I had like, landed at the top and. Ta da. The end. I'm happy now. The. And maybe that's what I.What was so unsettling, this idea of coming to the end of my story. That was really kind of unnerving to me. I was like, wait a minute, I'm not done yet. There's. There's more. So all of that was.Was surprising in a big way.

Have you. Has any.Do you have any updates, like, since you recorded, like, based on what you're doing in, in your organization or your world that you'd want to.

Well, I'm going back to school to be a brain surgeon.

Oh, that's great. That's a good time to go. And I feel like it's probably like easy, right?

Yeah, I thought I'd, you know, take. Take a load off and.

Yeah. Was it easy to transfer your credits from FSU to. To your new degree?

All of my music and theater credits, yeah. That was great. I went over to Vanderbilt and I said, hey, I was thinking about going back to school. And they're like, that sounds great.What's your experience? I said, well, I'm an actor.

Perfect. You've played a doctor.

I'm sure I played a doctor on tv. Yeah, same thing, right? No, everything continues to change. Like with the company, with Jook. Everything is changing and evolving.We've again sort of refined what we do. We've changed our focus and not changed it, but certainly zeroed in on what was working for us, what is working for us. And we're sort of doing well.We're doing more readings online, we kind of got our start. Like, the company found its purpose during the Pandemic because we were doing these readings of new plays online on Zoom, and people loved it.Like, the playwrights loved it, the actors loved it, the audiences were loving it. And since then, we. As soon as we could, we started doing those readings in public and in person, and it was more challenging.The experience wasn't as satisfying or just gratifying for everybody. So sort of interspersed in there, we were still doing these online readings with playwrights who couldn't make it to Memphis or wherever.We were doing a reading, pulling in actors from, you know, New York and LA and Chicago and wherever we could find folks. And I was like, wait a minute. This. This might be what we do.We might have more success, you know, kicking off, kickstarting these plays, giving playwrights a chance to hear their work read for the first time. That might be what we do right now. There's, you know, sort of everybody.After we got out of the necessity of Zoom during the pandemic, people went back to producing plays and putting on shows the way that they had before the pandemic. So there aren't too many folks left doing this kind of developmental work online. So we've been doing a whole lot more of that.We're about to announce a new season of all new plays that we're going to read on Zoom. We have this opportunity to bring in directors who couldn't necessarily make it to Memphis for a week of rehearsal and a presentation.We have actors from all over the world that are participating this time, and our playwrights are so excited to be able to, like, stay home and have this record. Have this virtual record of their. Of their work.

That's amazing.You know, I mean, I think it sounds like, you know, maybe now at this version of your life where you're more leaning into projects with stronger intention and. And what serves you, serves the people around you and doesn't create kind of the mess or the itch as much. Right?The itch that you need to scratch to change things. And kind of leaning into, like, this is serving its purpose. Let's do it.

Yeah. So much of my, certainly my creative, artistic life before starting the company was all about just as opportunities came up.I would do that, and I would do that, and I would do that, and it was kind of outside in. Now everything that I feel like I'm doing is inside out. And if it does not line up with that. That intention, I.I have to say no and keep moving Sometimes, you know, and it's. It happens naturally. People, you know, reach out and there's a reading or there's a.There's an acting job or a directing job or a music directing job that comes up and I have to make sure that it lines up with. With. With what. What I would can only describe as like something that is worthwhile. Is it worth my time? Am I going to bring myself to it?Can I bring myself to it? What do I have to say? Those all sound, as I say it out loud. It all sounds like very sort of lofty artistic goals. But we all have to stick to that.Like, if you, if you say no to something and let go of it and get out of the way, you're making room for somebody else who might line up perfectly with that moment. They might either need the job or they might have something to say. They might. That might be the job where they get to do what they do.

That's a good perspective. And you're also. You're writing still and you're writing music and writing or writing stories.

I'm writing so much more now. Yeah. And I've made it more of my job, which feels really good. The children's television.Television special that we started working on a couple of years ago. Ubu we are right now, we're in pitches for that. We just had a really.I can't say who, but we had a very promising meeting in the last couple of weeks. And so we're putting all those pieces together now and hopefully everybody will get to see that in the next year. My.My newest play, Sons of Levi, that. That's getting a reading in the new year. And I think we're very close to finding a home for the premiere of that play. So there's a lot of, It's.It's just kind of keeping motivated and engaged and finding the energy to. To move your work forward.If, you know, as an, as an artist, you can't sit around waiting for the phone to ring and waiting for your agent to call with an audition or a job, you have to wake up every day and do it yourself. There's really no other way to do it. There just isn't.And it's certainly satisfying to come to that realization and understand that we all have the power and the choice to take things into our own hands and make our own opportunities, especially in showbiz.

I mean, I think it's.It's true to most of the stories on the life shift is that like, I feel you truly had to do the Things that you did and accept the things that you maybe didn't want to do or weren't serving you in the right way to really understand how to operate now. Right.Like, I feel like you wouldn't appreciate the ability to do these things had you not done things a different way before that, you know, maybe wasn't serving you the best that it could.I know that I had a lot of people or a lot of my friends that listened to your episode, and they really connected interestingly with your story and just kind of this, you know, feeling like they weren't or you weren't in. In the perfect place for you to kind of succeed in your. In your mind.You know, others may have looked at you and been like, wow, successful Broadway did all these, you know, amazing things, but in your mind, you still hadn't that right space. And I had so many people reach out to me and, like, really connect with your story.Did you get any feedback from anyone else that maybe listened to your story and learned something new about you?

I sure did. It was funny. Friends of mine who listened to it really didn't know the story, and that surprised me. They didn't know why I moved.They didn't really know the, you know, and I. I think I played it safe on the podcast. You know, the. The sort of internal turmoil and conflict that was. That was, you know, motivating the move.I try to play it. What is that expression? Play it close to my vest or, like, but, like, keep it.You know, I try to just, like, keep it quiet and deal with my stuff and move forward. But a lot of my. Even my closest friends did not know some of the details that I shared with you on the podcast.I had a lot of people reach out, people who I didn't know, who found me, you know, online or through Instagram or whatever. And they. They had very interesting perspectives on the story. Or a lot of folks were like, yeah, me too.Like, I'm sitting in a very similar place, and I just don't know how to. How to make the first move, how to take that first step.So I've had conversations with people since then about, you know, kind of, you know, shared more information with them and answered their questions. So it's been.It's been really interesting to get feedback and get, you know, and have people reach out to me, asking more questions about my own story.

My whole goal, right, is that one person hears each episode and is like. And something strikes a connection in which they don't feel like they're alone in Their situation.So in your example of someone saying, I'm just afraid to, like, pull the trigger, you know, like, I want to do this to have you tell your story of, like, you did it and you're. And you. It didn't harm you. Right. Like, you.You're able to find a good space for you, maybe that triggers them to, like, take that next step or take the motion. So I love hearing that. I. I get similar feedback on different episodes, and it's always so interesting to me what people connect with. Right.Like, you think that this story is going to go out there and people are going to really resonate with this one area, and they come in with, like, this obscure comment that came, you know, outside of the story somewhere, and you're like, you know, you never know how a story is going to hit someone. So I'm glad that you. You took the opportunity to share that. Are there any stories that you've listened to that.That have, like, struck a chord in a certain way or any type of stories that are on the show?

Yeah.And it all sort of goes into what I think is so important about this podcast and what's necessary about this podcast and other ones like it sort of storytelling opportunities.There are lots of yours that I relate to personally, but there is almost always something in there, some little nugget, especially for anybody who has a creative spirit or this need to dig deeper and grow and change and keep moving. There's something in every story. The ones that I related to the most are the ones where people take the biggest chances. You can feel it.And I forget which one it was, but there was one episode where she's telling her story, and even as she's telling it, you can feel her going back to that moment. And I got nervous with her because I was like, yes, I know that feeling. I know that thing. You crazy. Are you. You almost think it's not gonna.It's not gonna happen. But. But, like, even as I remember certain moments and. And. And scenes from before I moved, I just kept waking up thinking, you're crazy.Like, just go back to doing what you do. Like, that's nuts. And so I connect to that feeling. That's something that I can really relate to. Those people that. That ultimately come to that.That realization. I'm not happy doing what I'm doing. Something has to change. Those are the stories that.That, for me, are the, you know, provide the sort of the strongest connection.

I kind of look at my audience broken into, like, two areas, and it's the people that are kind of facing external challenges. Like, something external affects their life. Like a life shift that, like mine, mine was external.There was nothing I can control about my mom dying, and that automatically changed my life, no matter. I had no decision in it. And then it's the people that want to listen to kind of where the internal struggle creates that life shift as well.And so, you know, it sounds like you gravitate more to those internal moments. And I love that I'm someone that kind of connects with maybe the more external things, because it's my experience. Right.But now I'm leaning into more of this internal thing, even with the podcast, of, like, just taking the chance to put my voice out there and have other people trust me in the sense of, like, being able to share their story effectively. And that's kind of always been the goal. So.

No, I. I think that's true.That even as you say it, I think, like, I'm drawn to that same thought process because I think that we think anybody who's going through this or sort of like pre life shift, you know, before Matt Gillooley, I think that everybody thinks that. That everybody's watching every move we make, and, you know, they're not.And this should give us more freedom to do what we want to do, to make mistakes, to fall down, like you said, and, you know, just keep going. Nobody's watching.I feel like that was probably what surprised me the most from what I was hearing from people, is that a lot of people didn't even know that I moved. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm, like, doing this all wrong. And, you know, everybody's going to laugh at me. That's just not true. And it's funny.Like, what. What the voices in our heads, like, sort of tell us if there was.

Someone that was considering sharing their story, whether with me or just in general, like, it's more. They've always kept it inside and didn't share with other people.Is there anything that you could say that you've learned from just being more open in a platform like this or just with your friends about sharing your story and the struggles and the hard parts? Is there anything, any advice that you would give to someone?

Yeah, speak it. It's important to tell our stories. There's a big movement of memoir writing, blogging, and sort of from an autobiographical place.But I think it's very important to be put on the spot with no planning, no preparation, no, sure, we could plan for this and outline the episode, but it's important to speak Your story. And sometimes, you know, and again, like, in. In my head, my narrative feels pretty boring, kind of ordinary.Honestly, I'm grateful for how lucky I've been. But it all. It all rolls out, you know, it's my experience, so it feels pretty effortless. So I think it's important to.To say it and to hear it back and to put those pieces together. And it's a great opportunity for us to hear other people's stories.These podcasts are very necessary in that process for all of us that we get to go to a place and whatever you're going through, you can find somebody talking about something similar and how that lines up with your own experience or how it's different from your experience and just realize that I think all of us were just trying to. Just trying to figure it out. And it might feel crazy, but it's really not. Nobody's watching, you know, just keep moving.

Yeah, I mean, it's interesting, too, because you said that, you know, when you first agreed to it, you were like, yeah, I have this big old crazy thing that I did this and did this.And then after you listened or maybe after you shared you had other thoughts, and then after you listened, you're like, it's just like, it doesn't sound that crazy, you know, like, and sometimes we just need to say things out loud and share it with other people to process our own, you know, situations. It's kind of like, I don't want to call this therapy, but it's kind of like therapy in a way where you.You don't know what you're going to go in and talk about, but you talk about it, and then you're like, oh, that's how that works. That's how these things go together.

Yeah.You realize how the difference between those sort of performative aspects of our life, the things that we, you know, you know, have to put on a show for a job interview. I think everybody knows that feeling, whether it's in an audition or a, you know, a job interview, but.And then the things that are personal and internal and that. That are more natural to our. Our own process and our own growth.

Well, I appreciate that you trusted me.

1.

To just be on the show, you know, so early on in the journey, it. It was. It was really an honor to. To have you on the show and then for you to come back and share your updates and your reflections on it.I know we've had text messages back and forth about some of your reflections on it early on, so thank you for just being a part of it and and letting my Patreon people here a little bit more about you.

Thanks, Matt.I'm so happy to share this with you, and I'm really thrilled beyond beyond that you're at it like you're really making this happen and that it is such a success. And I see it growing, and I see your audience growing, and that feels good, too, because I know you had your own major life shift.So to be doing something, so that just feels so good from the inside out, I think that's like. I'm very proud of you.

Thank you, my friend. And for those of you listening, we will be back with another bonus episode with I don't know who yet. So we'll we'll we'll see you then.

For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.