Embracing Authenticity: Trystan's Quest for Love and Family
Have you ever felt like you were closing doors on your future by being true to yourself? That's exactly how Trystan Reese felt when he embarked on his journey as a transgender man. But his story is one of hope, love, and creating a life beyond his wildest dreams.
I recently had the privilege of sitting down with Trystan for a heartfelt conversation on the Life Shift podcast. His journey from feeling unlovable to building a beautiful family and thriving career is truly inspiring.
The Challenge of Self-Acceptance
Growing up in a conservative area, Trystan didn't have examples of people living authentically different lives. He shared:
"I didn't feel like other people seem to feel. I didn't relate to my body in the way that other people seem to relate to my body. I just didn't have that comfort, that knowledge, language."
This lack of representation left Trystan feeling isolated and unsure of his future. He worried that by transitioning, he was perhaps closing the door on ever having a "normal" life - marriage, kids, the whole package.
Finding Love and Healing
Everything changed when Trystan met his now-husband of 15 years. This relationship challenged Trystan's beliefs about his own worth:
"To have someone be like, 'You're amazing. I love everything about you. I love every part of you. I don't want you to be not trans. I don't want you to hide that you're trans. I'm proud to be with you.' To be like, oh, that deep wound just slowly over time, having unconditional love and care reflected back to me, just slowly, slowly [healed]."
This love didn't just heal Trystan's heart - it empowered him to show up differently in all areas of his life. Trystan began to advocate for himself and set healthy boundaries at work, in friendships, and even with his family.
Creating a Family Beyond His Dreams
Today, Trystan and his husband have built a beautiful family with three children - two adopted and one Trystan gave birth to himself. He sees their family as a radically queer creation:
"We take the broken shards of glass that have been handed to us by the world and we put them together to make a mosaic. Something that is far more beautiful than the scraps that we were handed."
Becoming a Possibility Model
Trystan now dedicates his life to being a "possibility model" for others. Through his book "How We Do Family," speaking engagements, and consulting work, he shows that trans individuals can have rich, full lives filled with love and family.
He's especially passionate about preparing fertility clinics and adoption agencies to welcome trans individuals, noting there's a "trans baby boom" happening as more people see parenthood as a possibility.
Lessons for All of Us
While Trystan's story is unique, there are universal lessons we can all take away:
Self-love is a journey: It may take time and support to truly accept yourself, but it's worth the effort.
Healthy relationships empower us: The right partner can help us grow and heal old wounds.
Create your own definition of family: There's no one "right" way to build a loving home.
Be a possibility model: By living authentically, we show others what's possible.
Don't date mean people: As Trystan wisely advises, this simple rule can save a lot of heartache!
Trystan's journey reminds us that our perceived limitations often exist only in our minds. By embracing our authentic selves and surrounding ourselves with love, we can create lives more beautiful than we ever imagined.
What parts of Trystan's story resonated most with you? How have you overcome feeling limited by others' expectations? Share your thoughts in the comments!
