How a 64-Day Hike Transformed Trudie Marie's Life After Trauma

Trudie Marie
00:00:00

I didn't want to feel numb. I wanted to fix myself. And so I'd started looking at a bunch of different healing modalities that were not mainstream, not allopathic.

It was more holistic healing. I felt like they were all working on some level, but nothing that would just, aha. That's what I needed.

Funny story, I was watching the movie Wild with Reese Witherspoon, the story of Cheryl Strayed hiking the pct.

And I'd watched it years ago when it first came out, but it happened to be on the tv and hubby and I sat down and watched it and I went, oh my God, she's on a bit of a mental health journey. Maybe that's something I could do. And my husband being American was like, what? Go hike the pct?

And I was like, no, I'm thinking something a little closer to home and a little shorter. So.

Matt Gilhooly
00:00:54

Welcome back to the Life Shift Podcast. I am Matt Gilhooly.

I am the host of the Life Shift podcast and today's episode is one that I really will leave you inspired, maybe a little reflective, and hopefully feeling a little like, yeah, I can do that. Today's guest is Trudy Marie.

And her life took this dramatic turn when she was diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress after years of working as a police officer in challenging and pretty much traumatic environments.

But rather than letting her diagnosis define her, she made this bold decision to embark on a 64 day solo hike along the 1000 kilometer Bibbulman Track in Western Australia. Australia, pretty much with nothing but her backpack, her sheer determination, and this willingness to face her fears.

She found the healing, the clarity and the freedom in the wilderness. Kind of like the movie Wild.

In our conversation, Trudy opens up about that power of nature in her mental health recovery and how she was able to rebuild trust in herself after some workplace trauma and unfortunately, bullying. She also talks about the profound lessons that she learned both about life and herself while walking step by step towards her healing.

Once again, this is just another example about resilience in the human spirit.

Her story is specifically about this power of taking bold action and really believing that no matter how hard life feels, everything is going to be okay. So without further ado, here is my conversation with Trudi Marie.

I'm Matt Gilhooley, and this is the Life Shift candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever. Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Life Shift podcast. I am here with Trudy. Hello, Trudy.

Trudie Marie
00:02:51

Hi, Matt.

Matt Gilhooly
00:02:53

Thank you for joining me all the way. Pretty much as Far as we can go from each other across the world is that I think so.

Trudie Marie
00:03:01

I'm here in Western Australia, and I'm hours ahead of you because it's morning for me.

Matt Gilhooly
00:03:07

Yeah. Good morning to you. Good evening for me.

Trudie Marie
00:03:10

Correct.

Matt Gilhooly
00:03:11

I love it. Well, thank you for wanting to be a part of the Life Shift podcast.

You sent a lovely message through the website, and we went back and forth a little bit, and here we are, finally able to connect. It's so fascinating to me you're a podcaster as well, but for me, I don't know if you found this in your journey of podcasting.

When I have these conversations, it's like we start out, don't know each other. By the end of the conversation, I feel like I've been so immersed in someone's life story that it feels like I've known them forever.

So I'm looking forward to knowing you forever in just about an hour.

Trudie Marie
00:03:46

Yes, I totally agree.

That's how it occurs for me when I'm interviewing my guests, that you just get a sense of who somebody really is because they just open up their lives to you in an hour.

Matt Gilhooly
00:03:59

Yeah, it's. It's fascinating.

I always hoped that the Life Shift podcast would be like the conversations that I wish I would overhear at a coffee shop, like, where.

Where I could ask the questions that maybe growing up, I was told, don't breach that topic, don't ask that question, don't be curious about that really hard moment in their life, because we need to only talk about the shiny, beautiful parts.

I just love that we've been able to have these types of conversations on the show in which we are talking about the things that, like, I was brought up shying away from because I heard it was a no, no, I'm.

Trudie Marie
00:04:37

In exactly the same boat.

So that's the beauty of the people I get to meet on my show, is that you just experience their lives in a way that you never thought was possible because you just don't have those deep and meaningful conversations with strangers.

Matt Gilhooly
00:04:56

Yeah. For anyone that's never listened before, they're listening to the Life Shift podcast for the first time because you are on.

This show actually started as a school assignment during the pandemic. I was bored, and so I got a second master's degree, and I. I was taking these classes.

In between the required classes, I would take electives that scared me. And so podcasting was one, and I was like, who's going to listen to me? What am I going to talk about? What are all These things.

And really, when I started to think about what I wanted to do, I wanted to talk to people about these life sh. Shift moments in their lives. This line in the sand where from one day to the next, everything was different.

And the reason I wanted to do that is because When I was 8, my dad sat me down. I was visiting him in another state, and he sat me down and he told me that my mom had died in a motorcycle accident.

And at that moment, everything that my entire family and probably myself had dreamed for me growing up was no longer going to be because everybody, everything, shattered in that moment. Yes, tragic. But I think the tragic part for me and the reason I love having these conversations is because for so long, I had to push that down.

I wasn't able to properly grieve because, you know, the time period, it was the late 80s, early 90s, people weren't talking so vocally about grief or, you know, it's a kid, he'll bounce back or all these things. And so it took forever for me to come to terms with everything and be able to share it out loud. And so I wanted to have this.

This podcast in which I could talk to people about those moments and ask them questions.

And maybe in some way, people out there listening will feel less alone in their circumstance, because I think of that, you know, growing up, kid version of me. If I had known that someone like myself right now would be okay and would be succeeding in life, maybe I would have felt less alone in that journey.

So thank you for coming along this journey with me because I. No doubt we'll have feelings that are similar to what you went through in life, even though nothing was the same. So thank you.

Trudie Marie
00:06:59

You're welcome. And it's such a pleasure and honor to be here because I love what you are sharing with the world.

It is very similar to what I do, but you do it in such a beautiful, authentic way.

Matt Gilhooly
00:07:10

Well, thank you. I. I was telling. And this is a. This I'll just fess up to the world listening. I don't like to do a lot of research.

So what I know of you is the emails that we communicated. And the reason I do that is I don't want to come into this with any preconceived notions or ideas or assumptions.

I want you to tell your story, and I want to be able to ask questions from my own curiosity and not because I planted a bunch of questions here for you. So, I mean, I think it's. It's a good time to jump into it maybe before we do, though. You can tell us a little bit about who Trudy is here in 2025.

Trudie Marie
00:07:45

2025 is going to be a big year for me because I did a lot of the setting up, you could say, in 2024. So I am multifaceted. I don't think I could use one word to describe who I am.

But my husband and I live in a small country town here in Western Australia. He is a serving police officer, hence why we are here. I am a mother of two adult children and I have two fur babies at home with us.

A podcast host like yourself. I am also an author and I have recently become a results coach. So my 2025 is really about stepping into my coaching career.

Matt Gilhooly
00:08:30

Was that ever. Was that on your playbook for before 2024, when you were setting things up? Was that ever in your mind?

We should be letting life, like, guide us down this road and chase those things Very much. So before we get into your story, first of all, when you were growing up, coaching was not a thing. Like, nobody talked about it wasn't a thing.

Were you someone that kind of went along in life, in what society kind of assumed you would do at certain levels of your growth, like at, you know, you graduate high school and then you go to college and that? Did you kind of follow a path or were you kind of a wild child?

Trudie Marie
00:09:09

I'm going to say a little bit of both. So I'm the oldest of four girls and neither of my parents were formal educated beyond high school, and that's what they wanted for all of us girls.

So I went through schooling, like primary school and high school, and I was that straight A student who did everything right. I got accepted into university and I started there and I did the first 12, 18 months of my degree, and then I went. This is not for me.

And then I set off on my own. I love that little path of life, dabbling in a little bit of everything. There was no one clear path of what I was going to be doing.

Matt Gilhooly
00:09:51

From someone like me that felt very like I was attached to these milestones that I was supposed to hit. I don't know what they were. They were just kind of there.

I wish, I wish I had just, like gone to college for something that I wanted to go to college for, you know, and just kept with that. But I think mine was more trauma informed of, like, just needing to succeed and having people be happy for me and proud of me.

But let's go into your story of kind of painting the picture of your life leading up to the pivotal moment that we're going to talk about today. And I'm sure some of that will be sprinkled in there a hundred percent.

Trudie Marie
00:10:28

So from me then, going and dabbling in the world in multi different areas, like, I do not think there is an industry I haven't worked in or a job title that I haven't held because I was just one of those people who went from job to job to job. And for many people that was like, what are you doing? Like, I was deemed as not successful. I was flighty.

I would pick up at the drop of a hat and move somewhere else. And it wasn't until later in life when I discovered the area of human design that I was like, I'm a manifesting generator.

And it is okay in that personality type for you to be juggling multiple balls in the air and landing whatever feels right for you at the time. So once I understood that, I was like, no, there's nothing wrong with me. This is just who I am as a person.

Matt Gilhooly
00:11:21

Did you think something, did you assume, like when people were saying something was wrong with you, did you absorb any of that?

Trudie Marie
00:11:27

I always have felt that I was either a failure or not good enough. It's a lifelong sort of, you know, one of those negative self talk that always occurs in your mind. Yeah.

Understanding my human design was like, no, this is actually normal for me. And now I embrace it like it is. I can juggle multiple things on the go and that's okay.

Matt Gilhooly
00:11:49

Well, I mean, to be fair, you say negative self talk, but it sounds like people put that into your brain. So it really probably came from a lot of people telling you, what is she doing? Like, this is not right. You should be doing this.

I think it's fascinating. Now that I'm older, probably when I was younger, I probably would have felt like, what is she doing? That's crazy.

You know, so good for you for chasing that. And I love that something later on you were like, oh, all of that makes sense now I should be doing this because it really fulfills me.

Trudie Marie
00:12:17

Yeah. And your life purpose really shines when you are doing things that you love.

Like understanding that aspect of your personality and who you are in this lifetime is really important to living that happy, fulfilled life. But my story goes back to kind of when I was a single parent with my children and I was looking to start again.

For me, one of the things that came up in doing some professional development work was that when I was about 10 years old, I wanted to be a police officer. And we lived next door to the local police housing in the small country town I grew up in.

The senior constable living next to us at the time basically said to me it wasn't a job for girls.

Now I get as an adult that he was basically saying that in the mid-80s and what he was faced with, he was protecting the innocence of a young 10 year old girl. And so I put that on the back burner as like, okay, well I'm not good enough to do that. And that's something that will never cross my path.

And in that time I went to a lot of friends marching out parades as they became police officers. I had an ex boyfriend, a good friend of the family, a girl I grew up with, guys I went to school with and it was just never me.

But when I was just before I turned 40 and with my, you know, teenage children and deciding how I was going to live the rest of my life, I was like, you know what? I'm gonna go do that. I'm actually gonna go and live my dream of becoming a police officer. And so I started as a mature recruit and joined.

Matt Gilhooly
00:14:01

Is that what they call you?

Trudie Marie
00:14:03

You are a mature recruit because you're not in your 20s and you're not new, you've got plenty of life experience behind you. So yeah, I joined West Australian Police and started living my dream.

So I thought it was such a beautiful space to be in because I was able to combine all the experience of my life, like the last 20 odd years of working and being a mother and put that all into this new career and just being able to talk to people, talk to strangers, help solve their problems, you know, try and not be a savior, but just give people compassion and trust and knowing that we weren't the baddies, we were actually there to help you. I really felt a sense of fulfillment that was all going great. I would had a beautiful time. I met my husband and he joined WA Police as well.

He's American, former Air force and had come to Australia as part of that working from Darwin, moved to Perth and so we met and he wanted to join WA Police as well. So then we started off a life and career together and wanted to go to regional communities.

So we didn't like working in the city, we wanted to go to the country.

And for those people obviously in your part of the world who don't know, like Western Australia, we are one of the largest states in the world and have one of the largest police jurisdictions in the world because we cover our entire state. So my husband and I Decided. Decided to go country. Unfortunately, though, that's where my life started to turn around.

Because in a very short space of time, like over a six to 12 month period, I attended some quite serious jobs that would. Any single one of those would have affected somebody's mental health in the capacity of doing their job.

And I was having multiples, but I was also having multiples in a recall situation.

So my husband and I would work a shift and go home to bed, but then we would get called out, so we'd had very little sleep, and we were getting called out to attend another serious job. And some of those were extremely violent, extremely hard on us. You didn't have a chance to recuperate.

You were literally finishing that job, going home to sleep, going back to work again the next night. So you were never able to process it. Now, in that time as well, I suffered some really serious bullying and harassment. Harassment in the workplace.

So instead of your colleagues walking on that thin balloon line with you, having your back as you walked into danger, having full trust of them, my half my station turned on me. Not my husband, just me.

So between dealing with the bullying and harassment in the workplace and these serious situations, In November of 2021, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD.

Matt Gilhooly
00:17:10

Wow. Yeah, because it. I mean, it sounds like, for one, just like you said, one of those events can probably seat itself very deeply in anyone.

And then you have multiple of them, and then the safe space of being with your cohorts is not there. So now you just have that moment at home in which you're not getting enough sleep. I can see how all of this starts to. To compound.

Was this new to you? Like this, this feeling, this. Not the. The complex PTSD necessarily, but the. The effect that some of these bigger cases were having on you.

Was this like a new feeling to you where you were empathizing so much or. Or internalizing so much of that?

Trudie Marie
00:17:53

Yes, I think I was.

And I think a lot of that comes down to my life experience and to my, like, having children and having a bigger picture of life is that I wasn't just focused on and this is just a job. Like, this was me thinking about, oh, that's somebody's life, and how's that impacting?

And we were working in an indigenous community without getting into the whole political side and aspect of that. There was a lot of culture shifts within the town. And funnily enough, the town we worked in was the town I was born in.

I was delivered by an indigenous woman back in the 70s. So I actually Had I gained a beautiful relationship and respect with the elders of the community because I was of the land?

So even though I wasn't indigenous, because I was born in the town, delivered by an indigenous midwife, I had the respect of them. And I was really trying to bring the communities together.

So I don't like to be politically incorrect, but bringing that white Caucasian community together with the black indigenous community so that they could work together and live together harmoniously. And sometimes she had to blur the lines of how that was done, but I was making progress.

And sometimes I look back and think that's where some of the bullying and harassment started from, is because they were coming in purely for money, didn't care. They just wanted to wear the uniform and do the job and not look at the bigger picture.

And I was trying to deal with some of the trauma and cultural differences that were going on to try and harmonize everything. You know, I felt like I was making a difference. Like, my husband and I went back to the town last year, actually. We called through on a holiday.

Everyone said, oh, are you back? Like, we've missed you. And I was like, you know why? In that one moment, I got to feel like, yeah, I did make a difference when I was there.

Matt Gilhooly
00:19:55

Yeah, that. That seems really complicated, I think, in the sense of.

I'm sure there were a lot of people that were bullies in your department that had some kind of internalized racism and all those other things, too, and they're. Here you come not to. I'm not saying you said this.

I'm making this up, that here you come trying to make everything seem like everything's perfect and we're all the same, which we are, because we know that. We know that we're all humans, but some people don't feel that same way.

So I can see probably where some of that unnecessary, unwarranted bullying comes from. Just because that's how people are, unfortunately, and you're trying to mend things that they don't see should be mended.

Trudie Marie
00:20:38

Totally agree. You've pretty much nailed it on the head. Like, that's, for me, how it was occurring.

And when you start to lose trust in the people you're working with, you don't feel like you can do your own job. Because when you're walking into danger, which is what police officers do when everyone runs away, we walk in doing that.

I wanted to know that people had my back. I wanted to go home to my husband. I wanted to go home to my children.

And when you don't trust the people that you're working with, then you begin to lose trust in yourself. Well, yeah, and that's where I started to break apart.

Matt Gilhooly
00:21:15

You're walking into potential danger, and nobody's got your back, so you don't feel safe in either direction. You're just kind of like, you know, inching forward.

It feels like you probably can't make any progress even if you really wanted to, because you're stuck.

Because you just feel like it's not a safe space for you, which I'm sure lends itself to this mental health struggles that you had, which then snowball into a bigger challenge of you. Before we get into kind of how that changed for you, like, what does that. How does that manifest in? You had.

You had any kind of mental health struggles growing up? Like, any kind of depression or anxiety or anything like that? Or is this, like, a totally new experience for you at this moment in life?

Trudie Marie
00:22:01

So when I was at school, I was always bullied for being smart and for different things like that. I was never the popular girl. I was always, yeah, on the outer edges.

But, you know, when you're at school and you're told that sticks and stones may break your bones, but names will never hurt you, you kind of build this resilience to just toughen it up. But for me, how I knew things were changing is that I would literally before every shift, because I didn't want to go to work.

I would go home and I would sit at the bottom of the shower crying.

I developed severe insomnia where I couldn't get to sleep because I didn't want to shut my eyes, because I didn't want to visualize all the stuff that was going on. I didn't want to socialize. I was hyper vigilant and hypersensitive. So my anxiety levels went through the roof. And I was just like this.

This is not normal. How I end up being diagnosed with PTSD was that I actually had a breakdown at work. So I was in uniform at my desk.

Somebody's phone went off in the room, and it was the same ringtone that I'd always had on my phone that I used to get the recalls on. And I was like, oh, my God, not another recall. Then I realized, hold on a second. It's not a recall. I'm sitting in my seat station in uniform.

Like, I'm actually at work. We have what is called a CAD desk, which is how the jobs are distributed.

And it went off, like, started with the alarm bells, which means that there's a Priority job within the area. And I was like, well, it is a recall, because there's the CAD desk job that's telling me that that's a recall, that's priority.

And so my head went into a tailspin and I found myself in the female toilet at work on the floor, sobbing, going, I don't even know what's wrong with me. And so literally, like, the next day I went to the doctor and said, this is what's happened. These are the symptoms I'm experiencing.

He literally referred me straight to a psychiatrist for adopt, like a professional diagnosis of ptsd.

Matt Gilhooly
00:24:10

The way you were describing that, I mean, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I think it's just so challenging. And it just shows us that as much as we can take, there's certain things that we shouldn't have to take.

And then our body starts telling us in a lot of ways the things you were describing. All I could see in my head was like, one thing begets the other. And then. And it just, like, there's no escape, like, from any of that.

And it just gets worse and worse and worse because you can't sleep to get enough rest for your body to recover. And then you can't do this because of that. And your anxiety keeps you from doing this. I can imagine how exhausted you were as well.

It feels like that in itself is a drain, physically. Did you have any physical ailments that came from this period, too?

Trudie Marie
00:24:56

So I have a version of eczema that used to flare up all the time, and it got really bad. But it got to the point my rock bottom, as I tell people, is where I became agoraphobic.

I developed major depressive disorder with the high anxiety and became agoraphobic to the point where I could barely get out of bed, let alone leave my front door.

Matt Gilhooly
00:25:17

Wow. What does that time period look like from when you started absorbing some of those calls to this extreme here?

Trudie Marie
00:25:26

So we were living in this community where it all was happening, and I said to my husband, we need to get out to, like, start again, because if we stay in this station, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. So we transferred to a new station, and unfortunately, as the rumor mill happens in certain corporations and WA police is no exception.

By the time we got to the new station, which was three times the size, my name was already mud. So then I had to deal with that inside of.

So we first applied to transfer in the May of 2021, which is where the buildup was to having all this stuff go on. And by the November I was diagnosed and that's when I had the breakdown at work.

And then February, I was admitted to a psychiatric clinic for some treatment. And then going, leaving there, that opened up a hol. Other Pandora's box of trauma, so to speak, as everything just literally is shoved in your face.

So from the February to the. Probably the June, about that four months when I was at my worst with the agoraphobia.

Matt Gilhooly
00:26:36

So the agoraphobia came after getting some help and some treatment. I'll let you tell your story how you need to.

Just one last question, because you just said how the, like going into the psychiatric help or getting treatment or whatever opens up a lot and a lot of trauma comes out. Looking back on it now, do you see that as a good thing that all that came out, or was it a detriment to you?

Trudie Marie
00:26:59

Initially, it was a detriment because I wasn't prepared for what I thought I was going to go in and get fixed for what I was dealing with with the ptsd. What opened up was this whole lifetime of childhood trauma and stuff.

And as I start to talk about my story, I will now say that it was worth going through to get the experience that I did moving forward.

Matt Gilhooly
00:27:25

Do you see your breakdown as. I mean, it's probably a life shift. Do you see it as the most pivotal in your journey, or is there another moment that.

That you could take us to that would feel even more pivotal?

Trudie Marie
00:27:37

I think we have lots of pivotal life shifts as we three. And coming on this podcast, I actually started to think about all the little shifts I've had along the way.

But for me, the biggest decision that I made was deciding to take myself on a healing journey that I would never have considered and never have thought possible.

So I chose not to be medicated during my time even going to the psychiatric clinic, because I felt like any kind of medication for me, I'm not saying it's for everybody, but for me it was a band aid fixed. I didn't want to feel numb. I wanted to fix myself.

And so I'd started looking at a bunch of different healing modalities that were not mainstream, not allopathic. It was more holistic healing. I felt like they were all working on some level, but nothing that would just. Aha. That's what I needed.

Funny story, I was watching the movie Wild with Reese Witherspoon, the story of Cheryl Strayed hiking the pct. And I'd watched it years ago when it first came out, but it happened to be on the tv.

And hubby and I sat down and watched it, and I went, oh, my God, she's on a bit of a mental health journey. Maybe that's something I could do. And my husband, being American, was like, what, go hike the pct?

And I was like, no, I'm thinking something a little closer to home and a little shorter.

So I looked at hiking the Bibbulman Track here in Western Australia, and it runs 1002 km from the Kalamanta Hills, which is just outside of Perth, right down the coast to Albany on the south coast of Western Australia. And it takes you through a diverse range of environments, from coastal scenes to old growth forest to farmland to Aussie bush.

I had done like, 15 maximum kilometer hikes, so that's probably, what, nine or 10 miles? So I was used to doing coastal walks, bush walks, day hikes of that.

Matt Gilhooly
00:29:44

Okay, so you had been outside, at.

Trudie Marie
00:29:45

Least in the past. So my training was always to walk as, like, keeping fit as a police officer was always to walk. And so I was used to that.

But I had never done an overnight hike. I hated camping. I was like, you weren't ever glamping, maybe, but never camping.

And so to literally strip myself bare and have to carry my life on my back and go out into the bush. And I was doing this solo. And so I spent, yes, 64 days on my own hiking the Bibbulmun track with nothing but the stuff on my back.

And I did that with no medication and no audio distraction. So I didn't listen to music, podcasts, or audio books. It was just me, myself, and I in nature.

Matt Gilhooly
00:30:35

Good on you. That's a big decision. What was the time period between watching that movie and when you left?

Trudie Marie
00:30:41

I can't remember exactly when I watched the movie, but I want to say it was September or October of 2022, and I started my hike on the 1st of April, 2023.

Matt Gilhooly
00:30:53

That's a big decision. Did you like, no. As soon as, like, you're like, that's what I'm gonna do, and you're like, yes.

Or were you kind of like, this is kind of weird for me to choose to do? I would. Why would I. Why am I doing. Did you have any of those kind of thoughts or were you just like. Like, this is it. This is going to be my journey?

Trudie Marie
00:31:09

No, it was. I said it as almost like a flippant comment to my husband after watching the movie.

And it wasn't until Christmas where my husband actually gave me a tent, and I was like, Random present. Why are you giving me a tent? He goes, don't you want to do this track? And I was like, oh, you're telling me literally I should do it? He goes, well.

And whenever you say something integrity wise, you pretty much follow through. So I'm just giving you the little helping hand.

And so it was literally from the Christmas to the 1st of April that I then was on this massive research planning. Like I cooked, dehydrated, vacuum packed 90 of my food.

I researched everything about the track, about hiking gear, about camping gear, about everything I would need or not need. And yeah, I just went in this whole journey of discovery about hiking and what it would take to actually accomplish this.

And with no idea really of what I was doing, but it gave me enough to not wallow in self pity, actually start planning a project with purpose.

Matt Gilhooly
00:32:23

Yeah, yeah. If we're adding up life shifts, the fact that your husband bought you that tent is like another one.

Like it's like you might have just, just kind of kept going without really thinking about it. And then there's this like a fire under your butt to be like, let's go.

You know, like this is something that crossed your mind, it's something that has worked for other people. Maybe it'll work for you. And did it?

Trudie Marie
00:32:48

It did. It was the hardest but greatest thing I've ever done in my life.

Matt Gilhooly
00:32:54

I can imagine. What looking back and reflecting on it, do you think of it it, do you think it was the quiet? Do you think it was the physical challenge?

Do you think it was a mixture of all of them? What do you think really was like the reset was the, the help that you needed in that journey?

Because I think I could make a case for all of those things. But I wonder what you felt most impactful.

Trudie Marie
00:33:16

Yeah. So to sort of set a little bit of a scene, I had never been on my own. So in 2023 I was 47, turning 48 and I'd never ever been on my own.

So I'd lived with my parents right up until I moved out with my ex husband and we lived together and then when he left me, I still had my two children. And then before my children left home, I'd remarried. So I'd never actually been on my own.

So this was going to be the first time in my life that I'd ever been on my own. And so everything was up to me. So I think, think that was clearly like a huge component of actually being on my own, trusting my own instincts.

Like I said, I'd never Camp. So having to literally set up and pack up, like, set up every night, pack up every morning, like, that was all new to me. Having to walk.

There is no out on the track. Like, there is. No one else is going to do it for you.

Matt Gilhooly
00:34:19

Is there any contingency?

Trudie Marie
00:34:22

There was a contingency in the sense that, like, I had a phone to be able to say, you know, I'm done.

And there was multiple times along the track that I could have been done, but it was like, the only way to get from hut to heart was for you to walk it. You had to deal with whatever came up along the way. So there were days where I laughed. There were days where I just cried.

There were days where I walked in the rain that there was just. I didn't know whether that was rain on my face or tears. Sacred rage where you can just yell at the universe.

And I didn't care if somebody was coming before, like, in front of me or behind me. I was just like, if I want to scream and swear and shout and, you know, get angry or be sad.

It was just like this clear, emotional release of everything in my life. Not just with everything that happened with work, but everything in my life.

Matt Gilhooly
00:35:17

Did it feel like the first sense of, like, freedom?

Trudie Marie
00:35:21

It was very freeing.

Matt Gilhooly
00:35:22

You said, you know, you had you. I'd always been around people, like, your entire life. You probably provided for them in so many ways.

But now it's like you only have you and the universe around you, and you got to go to the bathroom outside, you have to do all sorts of things outside, you have to, you know. And, like, it feels very freeing, like, you telling this story. So curious if that's how it felt.

Trudie Marie
00:35:44

No, very freeing. Because at the same time, you're not working to anybody else's time clock either. You literally wake up with the sun. So your circadian rhythm resets.

You wake up, you pack up in your own time, you hike in your own time. You get to camp, and you set up in your own time. You go to sleep when it's dark, and then you just start all over again.

There's no one to tell you what to do, how to do it, when to do it. And one of the things that I got told early on, actually, it was the.

I heard stories of it in my research, but I got told about it the second night on the track. Hike your own hike. Don't worry about what everybody else is doing or how they do it or how they set up or how they pack up.

Take the tips that you want to try yourself, but hike your own hike. And that was the best advice I could have been given, because I did. I hiked my own hike.

Matt Gilhooly
00:36:38

And so you said someone told you this, like, a couple days into it, like, so were there a lot of people around? Were there a few people around where there. What is that experience? Like, you're not. Literally, no one's out there. There are people.

Trudie Marie
00:36:49

No, there are people on the track at various stages. The longest I went without seeing anybody or staying with anybody in camp was four days. So four days of pretty much solo.

Matt Gilhooly
00:37:01

Did you think the world had ended? No one around?

Trudie Marie
00:37:04

Oh, it was hard because naturally, I'm a talker, and everyone knows me, knows I'm a talker. So to. Actually, the only person you can talk to is yourself and get to camp. It was really quite lonely.

But at the same time, there was this sense of inner peace in those times because I loved meeting the different people and hearing their camp stories and track stories and whatever they had to share.

Because when you're on the track, like talking about at the beginning of our interview, where we talked about speaking with people and strangers, and you get a sense of who they are. In an hour, people on the track will tell you a whole bunch of stuff because they feel like they're never going to see you again.

It's a fleeting, passing moment.

I got to see and experience so many people, which I think is where my idea for my podcast came from, in the fact that there are so many stories out there to share, and I wanted to give people a platform for that. You know, that was one of my favorite aspects of the track, was meeting all these people and hearing all their stories.

Matt Gilhooly
00:38:06

I mean, you went on this healing journey in so many ways. Like, you could define it in so many avenues of, like, even just that.

Like, that's a journey in itself, of learning all these different people and why they're doing it and what's impacting them the most.

Trudie Marie
00:38:19

But.

Matt Gilhooly
00:38:20

But one thing that keeps sticking out in my mind is, like, you think of this journey as, like, very healing because you're connecting with the universe and you're, you know, like, all this.

All this stuff that comes when you're in nature, when you were in those quiet moments, in between the screams and the cries and those things, were you actively or passively unpacking things from your. Your history and your story. You were so that there was intention.

Trudie Marie
00:38:47

There, a hundred percent. So it would be whatever came up on the day. Because you just never know how the mind works and what you're going to remember or experience.

And I got to heal mother wounds and father wounds and childhood wounds. Even.

Looking at how things happened with work differently, there's a section that I talk about where it's, you know, probably a taboo topic, but the idea of sex in my life and how that affected me because I grew up in such strict religious environment that I had these ways of thinking around that topic. And I literally unpacked that. All from reading a romance novel on the track and going, oh, my God, like, this is my life. Like, this is.

This is a whole thing I have to explore here.

And spent days, like, thinking about those things, thinking about the breakdown of my marriage, thinking about how I parent because of my own idea of safety and wanting to be looked after is that.

That it impacted how I raised my children because I'd become not so much this helicopter parent that hovered, but wanting to, like, safety was my number one value.

And my children were growing up inside this whole thing of, like, not having to be scared, but having this anxiety that I'd imparted onto them because of my own beliefs and how I thought. So I never knew what I was going to unpack when it would just happen inside of what was going on for me.

Matt Gilhooly
00:40:23

So it wasn't like you had a journal of. Of. I'm sure you had a journal. Maybe. Did you have a journal?

Trudie Marie
00:40:28

I had two journals.

Matt Gilhooly
00:40:30

Okay. But you didn't have. You didn't go into this, like, day one and two. I'm gonna think about this. It wasn't intended of like what you're gonna unpack.

You just went to. To release. To release whatever you were holding on, to challenge yourself, connect with the world. And you did it.

Trudie Marie
00:40:48

That's exactly right. I went out there not knowing what I was going to do. All I had to do, my only objective each and every day was walk to the next hut.

How that happened, what happened in between was going to be at the whim of the universe. I did keep two journals as part of my psychiatric health plan, dealing with my psychologist and my doctor.

So that anything that did came up that I needed to reflect with them at, like, one of my appointments along the way that I would be able to have notes there to refer to. But me being a little bit ocd, I kept this really strict religious journal. And with the same type of entry every single day.

Those entries are actually now my book. So you could literally read my whole experience in my book because it is my real life journal entries.

The name of my book is actually Everyday Warrior and Everyday Warrior was my track name because Trudy means female warrior. That's the history and meaning of my name. And every day was like, I'm just this everyday woman hiking this track. I have no idea what I'm doing.

So along the track, you have to fill out a logbook of where you are with parks and wildlife. And so I put my track name in every day as this Everyday Warrior.

So when I was trying to think of a title for this book and I'd never planned on writing a book, it was a lady that I met on the track that was like, when are you going to tell your story? I want to hear more. And so I sat down to write the book and I'm like, why am I writing from past tense?

Like, why am I trying to think of how I'm going to write this book? It's already written. Like, my journals are there.

So I just restructured a few of the, like, entries for context and writing, because I write in shorthand. And so I created my book, which is my full journey of that 64 days.

Matt Gilhooly
00:42:47

It's, like, wild.

Trudie Marie
00:42:49

It is literally.

Matt Gilhooly
00:42:51

I know. Yeah. No, when you got to the end, what was that feeling like?

Trudie Marie
00:42:57

Oh, the day I got to the end. So I woke up at the last hut and I was an emotional wreck in the sense of one. I can't believe I've done this.

I can't believe the girl I knew and the mess she was has literally walked this thousand kilometers. And I don't necessarily want it to end. Like, I've been out here on my own and it's been amazing and I don't necessarily want it to end.

So for the first half of that last day, I literally cried, like, for the journey I'd undertaken and just the memories I'd created inside of that.

And then stepping off, I had an actual girlfriend come in to meet me for the last two kilometers, which was nice, because it was a nice distraction to see somebody I knew, knew, and then to just kind of not really think about the end, so to speak. But then when I got to the finish line, I had my son and he had his sister and my sister on Zoom because they both live in Bali.

I had my two other sisters there with my mum and dad, both on Zoom, like FaceTime calls, because they are both in Queensland. I had my two nieces there holding a sign, and I had a couple of girlfriends.

And I just remember stepping off the track and my husband was there, obviously, as well, but my son was there and he was the first person I saw And I literally stepped off the track and collapsed in his arms just knowing that what I had achieved as a mother, I get emotional now thinking about it, but what I had achieved was going to impact and have a ripple effect out because my children now had this example that you can do anything you set your mind to. You just need to trust yourself.

Matt Gilhooly
00:44:50

Yeah. It's big to be considering where you were before you made this decision to go and the fact that. That you couldn't function as the way you wanted to.

Right. There was a lot of things that were inside doing their own thing, trying to keep you from living the life that you probably dreamed of living.

Did you feel like a changed person after, or did it take a little bit to, like, re. Acclimate to the world and figure out if you were different?

Trudie Marie
00:45:19

I had a week in Perth.

At the end of that, I stayed in this beautiful Airbnb on the R that I'd met this lady previously, and she had set me up to, like, have this beautiful experience because it wasn't. It wasn't in a city environment. It was like on the river. It was peaceful, it was calm.

And I could just take my time in, you know, getting back into, like, being around, like, the city and people and travel and traffic and everything else. And then I went back to. We were still living in this small country town, and I went back there and I just started clearing out my life.

And as I started doing all of that, then everything, the processes all started, like, coming together. And I was like, yep, that's important. That's not. That's important. That's not.

And then that's when I literally set up and, you know, started planning my future. And that's how the podcast came about, it's how the book came about, and it's how the whole idea of coaching came about.

Matt Gilhooly
00:46:20

Yeah, I mean, it sounds like it, because you, You. You got some results there.

It seems like you forced yourself into an uncomfortable space, which then became a space that you seemingly, the way you describe it, love and loved that experience, despite its hard parts and all the things that came along with it. Do you see that 64 days as the medication that you didn't want to take? In other ways, it was the most.

Trudie Marie
00:46:48

Natural form of medication I could have ever taken.

And in saying that, like, the whole experience, because from a physical point of view, I mean, it's tough when you're out there literally every day walking for that length of time. I was very fortunate to only have one blister in a really unusual place between My toes.

I didn't have any of the other blisters that a lot of people experienced because I'd researched so much into how to prevent that that I was lucky. However, I did carry an ankle injury for 200k face with no medication to deal with that. I just had to feel it all and work through it all.

And then I face planted the track in one particular section and I actually knocked myself out and put my front teeth through my lip and I had to keep going like there was nothing I could do. And so you really discover how strong you are, what you're capable of.

And, and that it's really a matter of mindset because we so often get distracted and we want the quick fix and we don't want to deal with the pain and we don't, we just want to numb ourselves.

But when you have to literally be in it and like experience it all, then you can't help but confront every aspect of yourself and every aspect of life. Yeah, that was the most healing, cathartic experience I could have ever have had.

Matt Gilhooly
00:48:17

You think about it and you're like, yeah, that sounds amazing. It sounds hard. It sounds all those things that you described. Yet also you're probably one of not a ton of people that have done something like this.

I'm sure there are a lot of people that do it, but like, maybe not for the same reasons, maybe not for the same push of, you know, that internal push to like, like clear things out and get you to a, a space in which you kind of want to be you again. Would you agree or do you think there are a lot more than I'm assuming?

Trudie Marie
00:48:50

No. In the people that I met on the track, like I, I crossed paths with 59 other end to enders who were walking in the opposite direction.

So they were going from Kalamanda to Albany, whereas I was going from Albany to Kalamunda. I met those people and then in camp I met a lot of like day hikers or weekend hikers or section hikers and they had lots of.

But for the most part they all enjoyed hiking or being in nature just as part of their everyday life. That's why they were there. And I'm like, I'm, I feel like I'm the only one here for a mental health journey. Like this is so different.

And they couldn't believe that. They're like. Because they would ask me, you know, where else have you hiked? I'm like, this is my first one.

And they're like, and you picked a really big one to Start with like one of the other tracks here in Western Australia that a lot of people do is called the Cape to catch cape. And it goes from lighthouse to lighthouse on our west coast. And I did that last year. It's only 100.

I say only, it's only 135 kilometers, so 10% of the track from what I did. But a lot of people do that as training for the bib.

Matt Gilhooly
00:49:57

You did it after?

Trudie Marie
00:49:58

Yeah, I did after. But again it was another. That, that was a beautiful experience.

Like I love being around the coast, but one of those days, it was like a really long beach hike and it took me back to one of the days on the bib track where the days I could have quit and I was just like, oh my God, I'm right back in the thick of it. And. But it was the mindset of like, well, you did it back then so you can do it again now. And that's what got me through.

Matt Gilhooly
00:50:26

Do you think choosing the longer one first was, was the best for you and the reason why it was so successful? If we use that word.

Trudie Marie
00:50:36

I think for me I needed the, I needed the time time. I think if I'd have done it the other way around and done a short hike, I still would have come up feeling, oh well, that wasn't enough.

Like I need more.

And so having that 64 days and a lot of people don't take that long, a lot of people do it shorter in sort of that 50 to 55 days on average, that's still a long time. Yeah, I literally single hutted. So along the Bibbleman track there are section series of huts.

And if you single hut, it just means you go from hut to hut. If you double hut, it means that you win.

Walk from one hut to the other hut, say by lunchtime, have a break and then continue on to the next hut where you'll stay the night. And so I single hutted for most of the track.

There was only a couple that I double hutted towards the end just because they were closer together and I was fitter. But I, and I spent a rest day in every track town.

So I think I went through like seven track towns and I had a rest day there because I did not know how my body would feel. But I also gave myself that out that if I needed somebody to come pick me up, that's where they could do it from.

Matt Gilhooly
00:51:42

No, I, I mean I, I think it as that longer one was, was the recipe that you needed for this journey. And this is going to sound so terrible for everyone listening, because as you're saying that I was like, yeah, well, I.

I chose to do, for my first run ever, a half marathon. And instead of a 5k because I knew if I did the 5k, I would realize that I did not want to do the half marathon.

But the half marathon is what I needed at that point in my life. So it's very small version of that.

But at the same time, I wasn't like a runner, and I was like, oh, sure, I'll Sign up for 13.1 miles and it'll be fine. But that was what I needed because the short run, nobody cared. Like, I didn't care.

Trudie Marie
00:52:23

I think you're totally right, though, because when you set that task of the. The easier version is we don't stretch ourselves enough. It's when you put that challenge out there in the universe that is like.

And then you have to have the integrity around it. So are you going to be a person who honors your work. Word. And does what you say you're going to do, or are you just going to quit on yourself?

And for most people, they will honor what they've set out to do and they will achieve it just because, I mean, for me, I declared it that particular year so that my husband gave me the tent on Christmas and I went to a New Year's, like, female circle, and I declared my intention that I was going to hype the big truck that year. I didn't have a date at that time, but I was like, this is what I'm putting out into the universe.

And by declaring it, it was like, o, oh, now I have to do it. And then that's set off the process.

Matt Gilhooly
00:53:17

And thank God you did.

Trudie Marie
00:53:18

And I think it was the same for you with your marathon is when if you just said, oh, yeah, I'm going to go do a 5k run, no one really cares. And it's not a big stretch. But when you declare that I'm going to do a half marathon, everybody around you is like, oh, so when's it going to happen?

And you kind of want to fulfill on that and you want to achieve what you set out that you said you would do.

Matt Gilhooly
00:53:37

And then stupidly, I said what pace I wanted to do, so then I had to fulfill that as well. I think it's so beautiful. Do you. If we look back at your diagnosis, this complex ptsd, is that what you said?

Do you still have remnants of that, or do you feel that you've really helped yourself so that you can live with it? Or along with it.

Trudie Marie
00:53:57

So a diagnosis of complex PTS is I don't believe it's a disorder. So I believe that people experience post traumatic stress and it's just to what capability that you are able to control it. That's true for everybody.

I mean, your situation with your, your mum as a child that caused a post traumatic stress of some kind. It's just how you live with it. It's not something's wrong with you. We all experience it at various levels. So yes, there can be triggers.

Like, I had a trigger last week.

My husband got involved in a situation at work and he was okay, but it brought up a whole bunch of stuff for me that I was like, okay, But I now have the tools and the ability to kind of go, right, am I going to wal in this and stay in bed for the day? And look, sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm like, today I just need rest.

Matt Gilhooly
00:54:47

I love that.

Trudie Marie
00:54:48

And yes, I don't want to get out of bed. And today I'm just going to honor that and I'm going to, you know, read a book or do whatever, maybe just sleep.

But then other days it's like, I wake up and I'm like, I don't really want to get out of bed. And it's like, but what are you going to do today? And then it's like, okay, I could do this, this and this.

So then that gets me out of bed to then go and have a purposeful day. So my actual word for 2025 is purpose.

And because I don't want to just live with purpose, but I want to be intentional and devotional to everything I do in my life with purpose.

Matt Gilhooly
00:55:22

It's funny that I brought up purpose at the beginning of our conversation. I love that. I love what you just said too.

I think it's true of anything that we're kind of fighting or feeling, whether it's grief, whether it's stress disorder, whether it's anxiety, whatever it is. I think something that I grew up not realizing was allowed was being okay with how I'm feeling at that time. Like, honoring it.

Like you said, I'm gonna have bad days. I'm not gonna be happy all the time. And that's okay because I'm human, going through all sorts of things. And what I found helps me.

And it's a tool, I would say, is that honoring those days, I'm not in a good mood. That's okay. I'm not gonna stay in this mood forever. I just need to go through my process and like, that has been a tool for me.

Me, in the last couple years of, like, just being like, it's okay. I don't. You know, like, we're just human.

Trudie Marie
00:56:12

Yeah. And. And that's right. We are human. We are.

We have every range of emotional experience to unpack, but so many times we get told, like, don't feel that way or stop crying or don't do that. And it's like we are literally suppressing who we are, but every time, we get to feel the exact emotion at the time.

I mean, sometimes you have to delay it a bit. Like, if you're about to walk into a meeting and you get some bad news, you might have to delay that. That. But don't delay it for your life.

Delay it for that couple of hours and then go break down. That's okay.

Matt Gilhooly
00:56:43

When my mom died when I was a kid, I was taught that I had to be. Everyone wanted to see me happy, so I assumed that in order for everyone else to be happy, I had to show that I wasn't sad, that I was happy.

And so you just. That just grows and grows until you get older and you're like, oh, wow, what did I do? I pushed that down for so long.

And so it's nice to have those tools.

And I love that you have the tools to kind of move through your life in a different way in which probably feel more purposeful and more aligned with, like, that younger version of you that was trying all the different things and really trying to find what serves you best and. And feels best for you. I'm wondering if. If this version, having done that.

That trek, having done all the things that you've done now, if you could talk to that Trudy that was. Didn't want to leave the house and just felt like very much, like, bunched up and curled up into a ball. Is there anything you want to say to her?

Trudie Marie
00:57:41

So if I could go back and tell Trudy something, it would be that everything is going to be okay. And it was one of the songs that I knew before starting the track, and it would be one that I would either sing or say to myself on the track. Track.

It's a beautiful song by Jen Johnson. And that, yeah, everything is going to be okay.

Because even inside of all the pain, all the hurt, all the physical difficulties of the track, all the stuff I went through with work, like with the bullying and the nightmares and the insomnia, it's gonna be okay.

Matt Gilhooly
00:58:21

And at the time, he'd be like, what? I don't. Are you sure? Everything seems so heavy.

Trudie Marie
00:58:26

It was, it was extremely heavy.

And to know that now even I've got some stuff going on in my life right now that's, you know, personal, within my family and, you know, despite of how hard I feel that that's going to be, I can already start to tell myself that it's going to be okay.

Matt Gilhooly
00:58:45

I asked this question a lot in a very similar way, and I'd say, like 90% of the people, people, that's what they would tell their younger self.

It just reminds me of the resilience that we have as humans and that so many of us are lucky enough or strong enough or whatever descriptor we want to use to get through the hard moments and make it to the other side and to make a new version. So hearing your story in this way, there are people out there that are feeling similar ways to the way you did.

They might not go hike, but they might think of something that sparks them.

Like they're watching a movie and something sparks them, them to want to do it and set intentions for themselves and to move forward with it and try it and do it and see if it works. If it doesn't, you try something else. Just like your journey, you were trying all sorts of things to find something. So I just love that.

I, I, I, I think it's just so important to know that it is going to be okay. We just have to keep moving and keep moving forward.

Trudie Marie
00:59:44

Like one step at a time.

Matt Gilhooly
00:59:45

Yeah. Even if it's a tiny step, even it's like your rest day on your track. You, you didn't go double, double hut. You just did a single hut. You did it.

Trudie Marie
00:59:55

Yeah. And that's the thing. Everything starts like the old saying of a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. And it does.

You just have to take that one step of action. It's so hard, and it is, sometimes it can be.

The hardest thing is taking that first step, because once you've taken that step, you know, you can take another and another and another, but just have the courage and the confidence and the belief that that one step is going to start you on a journey that you never thought was possible.

Matt Gilhooly
01:00:27

Yeah, I agree. I think there's going to be a lot of people listening that will want to connect with you and share their story or share something with you.

Maybe you can tell us what your podcast is, tell us again about your book, where they can find that, tell us about your coaching, what you're doing. Just so we get a little bit of idea of that and people can reach out to you, you if they feel compelled to.

Trudie Marie
01:00:49

Sure. I'm on all the socials, so I'm on Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn.

I have my own website, which is www.trudymarie.com and it is spelled Trudy and Maria, both spelled ie. You can access my podcast from there, which is called the Everyday Warriors Podcast. It is on all your major platforms.

My book is available through Amazon, but it's also on the website and the audiobook version has just been released. So anywhere you can get your audiobooks, whatever platform you use, it should be available there.

If you ever wanted to read somebody's journals and somebody's diaries, now's your chance.

Matt Gilhooly
01:01:31

That's awesome. No, congratulations on that. Congratulations on the audiobook. You're 20 something episodes into your podcast. Congratulations on that.

I know what it's like, like, so I think it's just an awesome journey. On your website, is there stuff about your coaching, stuff that you're doing too?

Trudie Marie
01:01:47

Yeah, there's also stuff there, links to connect with me about becoming a client if you want some coaching. And I'm very much driven on the fact that during my journey it was. Psychologies are all about the past.

And for me, I got sick of talking about my past. That's not going to help me move forward. And so I literally gave my, my psychologist the flick and got my own coach.

Now, for me, the coaching is about how to help you move forward.

So regardless of your past, regardless of where you are, I have a program that will literally help you set you up for your future, because that's what it's all about, creating a new future.

Matt Gilhooly
01:02:26

Yeah. And that's what you did for yourself. So I think that's awesome. We will put all those links in the show notes so people will have access to them.

So if you are listening something that Trudy said resonated with you, please reach out to her. Her. An even bigger gift would be if you know someone in your life that might need to hear Trudy's story.

If you could share this episode with them, share the links to Trudy's stuff, that would be amazing. Thank you for sharing your story in this way, Trudy. I really appreciate it.

Trudie Marie
01:02:51

Thank you so much for having me. It's been an amazing experience and I just hope that all your American listeners understand the Aussie colloquialisms.

Matt Gilhooly
01:03:00

Of course they do. I did. So I would imagine that everyone else does. Thank you so much. I.

I just, I love having this place where I can meet people that I might never have met otherwise. So thank you for reaching out to me so that we could have this conversation. It was really, really a pleasure. And thank you all for listening.

I couldn't do this without people listening, so that's always a wonderful thing. If you enjoy this show, please do a rating review. Do the same thing for Trudy's podcast. We would love that. That's always a nice little pick me up.

Other than that, I'm going to say goodbye. I will be back next week with a brand new episode of the Life Shift podcast. Thanks again, Trudy.

For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.