From Corporate Life to Survival and Entrepreneurship | Robyn Daigle

00:00
I was 29 years old. I ended a work day, shut my laptop, no issues whatsoever. And all of a sudden had a really uncomfortable tightening in my left upper arm. So, you know, I thought, I'm a young woman. Am I having a heart attack? Cause it's on the left side. Kind of what's going on? Went to my husband cause it wasn't getting better after about maybe 10 minutes. And I said, this is weird, but can you just like...

00:27
look at my arms, do they look weird to you? My arm just hurts. And the look on his face was like he had just seen a ghost. His only words were, you need to get to an emergency room right now. My guest today is Robyn Daigle. She's an entrepreneur who really rose from the ashes, if you will, of a life altering medical condition that was very sudden. And she turned adversity into a springboard for an incredible personal and professional growth.

00:55
She found herself at the crossroads of life when she was diagnosed with thoracic outlet syndrome, which is really a rare condition that compresses your veins and your nerves or your arteries from your chest to your arms. Robin's tale is one of courage and her battle with this condition and all the little life shifts that ensued is truly a testament to the strength that we have inside of all of us. Much of our conversation today is about how her diagnosis, her surgeries and her recovery period

01:24
sparked this introspection and a reevaluation of her priorities, which ended up leading her to discover an entrepreneurial spirit she hadn't known she had. A crucial theme that resonates throughout Robin's journey is the importance of embracing and adapting to life's unforeseen changes. Robin's story teaches us that even in the face of fear and uncertainty, we can find strength, create joy, and discover new paths that we never thought were possible. So without further ado,

01:52
Here is my conversation with Robyn Daigle. I'm Matt Gilhooly, and this is The Life Shift. Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.

02:14
Hello, my friends. Welcome to the LifeShift Podcast. I am here with Robin. Hello, Robin. Hello, Matt. Thank you for wanting to be a part of the LifeShift Podcast and just tell your story. I found through this journey that everyone's story has a little element that I can relate to or resonate with, even if I didn't experience anything remotely like what my guest has said or shared. So thank you for just wanting to be a part of this.

02:43
Of course, thank you for bringing me on and letting me share my story. I'm really excited. And for, well, for listeners, this is your first podcast experience. And so I'm sure you've shared your story with many people, but maybe not in this way. Yeah, I'm really excited to just be able to continue the reach with my story and hope that somewhere someone feels the same way I did and knows that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get there. And I promise you will.

03:12
It's so important and really, I mean, you hit on the reason that I started the life shift and the idea of if someone out there is listening and they hear someone going through something similar or they feel a similar way, if nothing else, they feel less alone in their experience because I think sometimes we hit these experiences where maybe logically we know we're not the only ones to ever go through it. But it sure does feel like

03:39
We are the only ones that could ever understand what's happening. And so it is my goal that there's someone out there listening right now that hears your story and feels less alone or feels hope or inspiration. So you hit it right on the market. I cannot agree more. Well, for anyone listening, anyone listening for the first time, cause Robin is on the show, the life shift podcast really started. It stems from my own personal experience. When I was a kid, my mom died in a motorcycle accident. And from one day to the next.

04:09
my life was completely different. My life shifted immensely. And around that time, there was not a lot of people talking about mental health or helping a eight-year-old grieve or any of those things. And I felt really alone in my circumstance. And I wondered as I grew up and as I went through the grief journey, are there other people out there that have like this significant, seemingly small moment in time that changed everything?

04:37
And it turns out that there are a lot of people with a lot of life shift moments. And, you know, but when you're in that cycle of grief, you just don't realize it. And so I'm just so lucky to be able to talk to over a hundred and something people now about their life shift moments. So again, thank you for wanting to do this. Before we jump into your story though, maybe you can tell us a little bit about who Robin is in 2024 and what your life is like here. So today I am an entrepreneur.

05:07
I own and operate a charcuterie catering company. We are just a year and a half in. I never thought I'd ever be working for myself, let alone start my own business, but here we are. We are chaotic, we're fun, we're crazy. Some days we don't know what way is up, but we thrive in it, we love it. I have an incredible little mini Labradoodle. His name's Napa. I have an incredible husband named Ian. And we, just the three of us, are

05:36
trying to just live our best lives, right? Every single day, we just pick what makes us happy today, and that's what we're gonna do. So, you know, we'll dive into the story, but my story is the reason why I am an entrepreneur today, why I have started my business. So really, when you say life shift, my entire life has been on a total different trajectory since, you know, everything has happened, and I just can't wait to continue to see what...

06:04
The future has in store for me, my family. Yeah. Were you always someone that, I mean, maybe not the way you just set that up, but were you always someone that like kind of grabbed life by the horns and kind of like went after whatever was feeling right? Yes and no. Meaning I was always so busy with everything else going on around me. You know, I look back five, even 10 years ago, my husband and I have been together for almost 12 years now.

06:35
And we look back and think how many years, I don't wanna say wasted, cause wasted is not the right word. We're just consumed with doing everything for everyone else, right? Family events, family, weddings, friends weddings, everything, right? I mean, life gets busy. Those are all amazing things. And we were so happy to be a part of every single thing, but our weekends were never for us.

07:03
They were always for everyone else in our family. And we were always go, go, go, go, go, just in a very different way. Right. Not intentional. Right, it wasn't like getting the most out of life in the way that you wanted, but you were still getting a lot out of life because it was meaningful things. It wasn't always... It's only new.

07:26
We were loving life, right? Back then it was, oh, we get to see our friends this weekend and next weekend and the weekend after that, the weekend after that. We're just, yeah. Part of my question stems from the idea of, I talk to a lot of people I've personally experienced this, but like so much of my growing up as a teen, going into my 20s, I was very much like.

07:49
what I thought I was supposed to do in life. I was supposed to do the next thing, and then, okay, while you graduate high school, now you need to go to college, and it needs to be a good college, and you need to do well, and then you need to get a job. And all these things were just, I don't think of my own doing. They weren't things that I was like, yes, can't wait to do that. It was just like, it was just the next thing I had to do because so-and-so, whoever so-and-so was.

08:16
said that I needed to do it. So that's kind of where that question came from. But do you buy into that? I cannot agree more. Cannot. For me, I grew up in a house where my parents are entrepreneurs. They started their own company at the age of 30. I started my company when I was 30. So I grew up just in that business environment. And I said, well, I guess this is my parents' do. I guess I'll go to business school. So I went to a wonderful business school here in Mass.

08:45
And when I was there, it was, oh, well, you're a marketing major. You need a corporate job. That's what you do. So of course, right out of college, got recruited, went right into corporate marketing for 10 years. Didn't think anything of it. Played the game. Every day. Did you like it? No. Oh, okay. So it was just like you, you knew that you had to go somewhere for 40 hours and come home with a check and then spend two hours every night.

09:12
decompressing so you could do it again the next day. Exactly, but I didn't know any different. I didn't know that there was anything else out there, right? Because we did what we were told to do. You go to college, you graduate, you get a job. You don't like that job anymore, you get another job in the corporate space, which I did. I worked at two wonderful companies when I was in corporate, but it never fed my soul. It was more of almost like a robot, right? You wake up, you go to work, you come home, you eat dinner, you go to bed, repeat the next day. There was no joy in it. Is that why you guys were

09:42
were filling the weekends and the nights with all the family and friends and things because you thought maybe that will satisfy that little. Exactly, we were like, well, at least we have friends to look forward to or a family party this weekend, something fun, right? Get out of the house, especially when COVID hit too, right? We were both work from home permanently. I mean, after COVID, I would still work from home permanently. So that was just kind of, you know.

10:07
I just need to get out of this house at this point in time. So what do we have planned this weekend that we can go do and see people and not, you know, be just the two or three of us with the dog just in a house all day long, 40 hours a week. And I think so many people can relate to the idea of just kind of going through the motions and to your point where you were like, it's not regret, it's not looking back on like waste. You were doing things and you were trying to find the joy in the things that you felt like you had to do.

10:36
But at the same time, you're like, did I choose these things? It's really interesting. And I think there's a lot of connections that I can personally relate to in that. And so that's why I wanted to ask that. But maybe you filled in a couple little pieces. But maybe you can kind of paint the picture of your life leading up to really what changed things so that you could grab life by the horns and just run after it. Yeah. So I mean, I was always the planner.

11:06
I was, like I said, go, go, go all the time. I didn't know how to sit still, how to relax really, because that was just my life, right? We are constantly on the go. And... Was there a fear in that, by the way? There wasn't, because again, it's all I knew. I didn't know anything different. But like, was there a fear of not moving and not...

11:32
being busy all the time and that do you feel like you were busy because you had to? Because I don't know what I would do. Yeah, no, I honestly don't. There was a fear because I honestly don't remember a weekend that we didn't have something. Like, and I'm not- Just fill it up. Yeah, I am not joking. Yeah, wow. Because if there was a weekend that we didn't have something, like we would still go out and do something. Oh, we don't have a wedding this weekend. Let's go out with our friends or let's go on a nice hike. Got it.

12:02
doing something. Sitting down relaxing, binge watching a Netflix show was never anything. Unheard of. Yeah, exactly. It was unheard of in my household. So for me, right, just go, go, go all the time. I was a huge gym rat, right? Like I looked forward to it. That was my therapy. And again, it just kind of go, go, go. You wake up at five, you go to the gym, you do the work, blah, blah, blah. You know the drill.

12:31
February 15th, 2022. Is that your day? That was my day. I'm assuming that's your day. That's my day. And that day is special to me as well. Obviously like we'll dive into everything that happened in my moment and everything. Go for it, jump in. But it's a special day for me because I always say everything happens for a reason, right? I'm all gonna get very emotional during this as well. A couple of years back on February 14th, so Valentine's Day.

12:59
my grandmother passed away completely unexpectedly. And I remember on the fifth, like, obviously we, I remember her always on the 14th and on the 15th, I remember thinking like that morning, like, ah, like grandma's always like looking down at us. Like she always watches over everyone, like just having really good, positive, you know, thoughts with that really sad moment. But later that night,

13:29
is when my life changed for ever. I was 29 years old. I ended a work day, shut my laptop, no issues whatsoever. And all of a sudden had a really uncomfortable tightening in my left upper arm. So, you know, I thought I'm a young woman. Am I having a heart attack? Cause it's on the left side. Kind of what's going on? Went to my husband cause it wasn't getting better after about maybe 10 minutes.

13:58
And I said, this is weird, but can you just like look at my arms? Do they look weird to you? My arm just hurts. And the look on his face was like he had just seen a ghost. He his only words were, you need to get to an emergency room right now. So, of course, I'm thankful that I live 10 minutes away from one of the best emergency rooms in Massachusetts and Salem. And we rushed there immediately. It was still when.

14:26
The second wave of COVID had just kind of come back in the hospitals. So it was really back to very strict protocols. So I was dropped off at the emergency doors. And by the time I got there, I was completely purple. From my fingertips to my shoulder. Oh, gosh. And I'm not exaggerating when I say I looked like Barney. I was completely cold. I had no... and completely like numb, painfully numb.

14:54
like pins and needles through my whole arm. And so swollen. And it was just getting progressively worse? Progressively worse. As it was going on? Yep. I was pacing around the emergency room, convinced that they were cutting my arm off. Right, well naturally, I think a lot of us would feel that way. Yep. So fast forward, you know, they finally get me situated in a room. I can now have a guest. My mom came and sat with me because I was just off my rocker and I needed someone to calm me down. Right.

15:23
Right, because it's viral. I think we start thinking about, like, well, maybe I'm going to die. Exactly. Why is my arm purple? What is going on? I feel fine. I can breathe fine. But clearly, something is going on with me. They did a big ultrasound. And later that night, a couple of hours later, the doctor came in and said, we think we know what's wrong, but it's a very rare condition. So we're not going to say anything until we really get the final results.

15:53
It's terrible. It's like a terrible response. They're like, but we think it's something with blood clots. So we're going to start you on blood thinners. So get put on the blood thinners. And they're like, well, you're not going home tonight. So we're going to get you a room and then we'll check back in with you in the morning. That seems like a long time to wait with your arm like that. I was in the waiting room waiting room for almost 45 minutes before I even went into a room.

16:20
And then when I was in the room, it was probably another six hours before I got put on blood thinners. And then overnight, they're like, then you had to wait overnight. And of course I have everyone saying, what's going on? Are you okay? And of course I'm overwhelmed. I can't move my left arm. So I'm working on one hand at a time. Of course all the pain medication you're on just wasn't a good situation. And due to all the COVID restrictions,

16:48
I was only allowed to have one guest for four hours a day. That was it. So at this point in time, it's overnight. Obviously I don't have anyone with me. It's the next morning. And this is where my moment kind of really changed everything. My surgeon walks in the door and says, you know, has anyone spoken to you, but what's going on? Of course my heart is just racing. I'm by myself.

17:17
knowing something bad is kind of come out of his mouth. And he said, well, good news. What you have is most likely fixable. Bad news, it's going to be a very long journey. So in that moment, I just, you know, had a, okay, you know, big girl pants on, bring it, what's going on? And he said, you have a rare condition called thoracic outlet syndrome.

17:47
And that means that your veins, nerves, and or arteries from your chest that flow to your arms have been compressed and damaged by the compression of your clavicle in your first rib. Fun fact, your first rib is right underneath your clavicle bone. A lot of people were surprised by that. So what happened for me was my veins were completely spiderwebbed internally.

18:17
with scar tissue because of the compression happening years over years over years. Now he told me this and of course I immediately just start crying. But all I remember, it was kind of like a movie for me, almost like being a fly on the wall looking at this kind of unraveling. He explained to me that you're going to be in the hospital for a week right now. We need to do surgery.

18:46
but in order to do that, we need to get your blood to a certain level. It can't be too thin or you'll bleed out during surgery, or it can't be too thick because then we can't do the surgery. So it had to be just right. And then in a month, you're gonna go into MGH in Boston and you're gonna have to have your first rib taken out. And then from there, a month later, you're gonna come back here.

19:14
and you're gonna do another surgery to go back in and remove any remaining blood clots in any of your veins. I felt in that moment confusion. I was petrified. My life changed. Yeah. And what I mean by that is I wish I saw, I wish there was a mirror for my face because seeing my doctor's reaction to my face told me everything I needed to know.

19:44
Here I am, 29 years old, being told that you have a serious blood condition at the time. Your entire left arm is clotted. The blood is not draining back into your body like it should be. You're going to be here for a week. So say goodbye to any work or any weekend plans, right? Any busyness. Yeah, you're going to have to sit with yourself. And it's going to be a long road. You have...

20:13
three more surgeries. I hadn't even had three surgeries in my life. And your life's gonna change. It's gonna be different. And what that looked like at that time was just a giant black hole for me. Because in that moment, I needed to process what was happening to me, process what was being told to me in my plan for my health. And then...

20:41
try to relay that to my family. Oh yeah. Via a phone call, which is just the most disconnected feeling you possibly could have because I couldn't imagine trying to FaceTime anyone right then and there. I was amazed. It's interesting, when you first heard that information from the surgeon, did you attach to more the

21:08
the things that were going to change or were you someone that kind of attached to the hope that like, oh, this could be fixed. It was more like there was no hope, even though he said that you didn't hear that part or no, you did hear it, but you chose to attach to that other part. Right. I heard you're going to have a long couple of months. You're going to have to undergo a major surgery. Right. Yeah. And life. Is going to be taken out of your body.

21:38
And you got enough. You have enough of those rifts, right? Yeah. Well, it's interesting, too, because we started this conversation about how busy you were, how busy your life was, just because that was the natural tendency for you to exist in this. And then here you are at a complete stop. Complete. So I would imagine that is jarring for someone that is always.

22:05
on the go, go, go, doing, doing, doing. And now you're like, guess what? You might not be able to do any of that for a long time. So I was an account manager when this was happening. And I was like picking up phone calls, like trying to deal with my clients. Like in the hospital bed. And finally I was like, I can't keep doing this. But like, that's all I knew. That's all I wanted to keep doing. I think we're very conditioned in that sense. I think there's something.

22:35
be curious to dig into if you ever do this and if you dig into why that tendency, I know you say it's always just something you did, but I wonder if there was a trigger for that because I don't know if you've read this in this journey of healing and we'll talk about this journey that you've gone on, but have you ever read the book, The Body Keeps the Score, or any of these kind of trauma books? I talk to a lot of people about these,

23:03
people that get these physical ailments or whatever. And I'm not saying that this is your journey, but it's always so interesting to me how stories like, you know, I did this and I was doing this and I was, you know, whatever, I was doing these hard things or climbing mountains or whatever it was. And then all of a sudden my body said, hold on a second, we're gonna stop this because it's not long-term, it's not healthy. So not putting that on you is something, but it might be something really interesting to look into to like think, oh.

23:33
I wonder if my body was like, hey, hey Robin. Yeah, you need to slow down. Slow down, like life is here and you probably wanna live it the way that you want. I was supposed to go on a snowboard trip to Killington two weeks after. And when I tell you, like to the day I was getting discharged, you sure I can't go on that snowboard trip? Yeah, two weeks. My doctor was like, do I need to keep you here so you don't even try to go on that snowboard trip? Yeah.

24:02
Was there a point in that where, like at what point did you accept it? Did you say, okay, this is now what I have to do and this is how my life is gonna be? So it got accepted in stages, I'll say. So for me, my first level of acceptance, honestly, was like 30 seconds after that, because I looked at myself and, you know,

24:32
Like I said, I'm a person who go, go, goes, but I'm also usually the person that takes care of everyone around me. Like I'm always, what do you need, what do you need, what do you need? Oh, I'll get to myself eventually. And I'm also as vocal and loud that I usually am, like I'm always a social butterfly, but I'm also very reserved at the same time. Like I like to sit back and kind of observe, like I'm never one to kind of jump forward or really kind of defend any way, shape, or form,

25:02
confront. So for me, right, my surgeon comes in, tells me everything, gives me the plan, Saint wrote it all on the whiteboard so I could take pictures of it and try to really kind of process it. He even hands me a tissue and it's like, I know this is a lot to try to take in, but I'm here. But for me, I had to accept what I was just told and try to process it as quick as I can because I had to make phone calls, you know, and tell my family.

25:31
I'm gonna be here for at least a week. So you guys need to figure it out. And then trying to explain, you know, not only explain, but for me, I felt like I couldn't cry or show my emotion. So I- You had to be strong one? Exactly, I had to be a strong one. Because you wanted to take care of them because you were worried that they would worry. Correct, and I knew they were worrying, right? But so in my brain, I kind of flip.

26:00
I call it like the light switch. Like I turned my emotions off and I really just, I called my family black and white, explained to them what was happening, tried my best not to cry, not to show emotion, just stick to the facts and that worked. And I had never done that before. So I was already seeing changes in myself because of this one thing that had just happened to me within the last 12 hours. Yeah.

26:28
But do you think that turning that off, quote unquote, worked? Or do you think it was just kind of pushing things down and for a later date? Oh, it pushed things down for a much later date. Yeah, so I get that. I get that though, because, you know, as someone that wants to take care of other people, even in a dire moment of your own, you're still putting others ahead. When they probably were like, if they heard that, they were probably like, what are you doing?

26:56
I eventually told them that after months of therapy. I sat everyone down and just finally, it was like come to Jesus moment. And they were like, you didn't have to do that. Exactly, but that's me, right? That's what we do. Yep, so kind of, you know, that week came and went, had my surgery, came home, and in between that and my rib removal was about four to six weeks.

27:25
And in that timeframe, I was out of work, obviously. I had severe restrictions. I couldn't physically, I mean, even doctor's orders, but physically I could not move my arm past here. I couldn't stretch my arm straight. I couldn't do anything with my left side at all. And that forced me to slow down. To sit with yourself. To sit and binge Netflix.

27:53
How did that go though? Was that like a total brain exercise for you? It was such an emotional roller coaster because I couldn't do anything. I cook, I clean, not because those are the housewife duties, because I truly love to do that stuff. That brings me joy. When I'm stressed, I clean and I cook and that's my jam. But I couldn't do any of it.

28:19
And that started driving my anxiety wild. Yeah. So wild. Because you have no routine. Like your routine of 29 years is now shot. Gone. Yep. Nothing. I wasn't sleeping at night because just the pain was so bad. So I was just sleeping as much as I could 24-7, right? Yeah. Barely getting out of bed because getting changed. Does depression come along with that? Oh, depression hit the nail on the head about a month later.

28:49
Yeah. Well, I mean, those things, even though that's pain induced, I think sometimes we lend to those too. It's like it's easier to be asleep than to... Deal with anything else in reality. ..deal with life. I get that. I mean, I had to... This is gonna get even like very vulnerable. I was 29 years old and I couldn't take a shower by myself. Right. Couldn't brush my hair, braid my hair. I had to teach my husband everything.

29:19
Yeah. And you had to rely on people. To the women out here listening, trying to teach your husband how to braid hair is a chore. But I had to rely on those Barbies out. Yeah, seriously. I had to rely on people. I had to depend on people. I had to be vulnerable. And when all along in your whole life, you probably could have. Yep. But I chose not to write. And the hardest part, other than recovery, obviously.

29:47
was allowing people to help. Yeah. That took weeks and that didn't happen until after my rib removal. So fast forward to day of rib removal surgery, heading into Boston, I'm ecstatic because I just can't wait for this to be over and put behind me, right? So you can get back to work.

30:10
Literally. Honestly, I'm like, I just need my life back. Come on, come on. Yeah. Let's just get this over and done with. Yeah. The light at the end of the tunnel. Like I was still. I get it. Weirdly positive. But I went into surgery, came out of surgery, opened my eyes. And this is like kind of another moment for me. I thank God my husband was in the room because I looked at him and he just saw the expression on my face and he just said, You're OK. There were complications in surgery, but you're going to be OK.

30:40
So my surgery is about twice as long as it should have been. And when he was in, you know, my area of my thoracic area, my brachial plexus, he found so much damage to my nerves that he equated fixing my nerves on my brachial plexus to scraping cement off of the side of the road. So obviously when you cause that much agita to your entire nervous system on your arm,

31:10
you're gonna have angry nerves. So when I woke up, I had zero sensation of my left arm. I didn't even know I had a left arm pretty much because I just could not feel it. I could not move it. I could barely touch it. It hurt so bad. When I did try to touch it, it was just so excruciatingly painful. So that added a whole nother layer now to my thoracic outlet syndrome story, now to my recovery. Nerves can take up to two years to regenerate.

31:40
if they even regenerate. Right. Very sensitive. So today, it's mid-June 2024, I still don't have some sensation in my arm. And they can't tell me if that will ever come back. Right. During that time, I was told we did our best, but I don't know if your coloring will ever return back to normal. We don't know if you'll ever have full use of your arm.

32:07
We don't know if you'll ever be able to lift it above your head again. When they went in, there were so many more unknowns. Right. Where I just went back to that exact same, like numb, confused feeling again. And I felt like it was anger involved at all. There was slight anger, but I felt like it was more towards just the fact that I had to slow down. I didn't have a choice.

32:36
So there's no like anger at like the process or like you didn't know that this was a chance or? Right, there was no anger in that aspect because I knew honestly I have to say my surgeon was phenomenal. He has a he created a thoracic outlet program in Boston. It's the only one in the country. Like people fly in all over to see him from Australia every which way. He's seeing people from all over the world. How weird that you're like down the street.

33:02
from this. And I always say, I count my blessings. I'm so thankful to live in a place that we are, because if not, who would have known what would have happened? Right. But yeah, just kind of surviving, right? I kind of just went into that like fight or flight mode in my brain. I was like, let's just survive right now. Don't try to worry on anything else. We just need to survive. And after hearing, you may never be the same again. Yeah.

33:32
after this surgery, not knowing that was even a chance, that kind of threw a whole new wrench into this ball game, right? I was even more scared now. Well, what does life look like? Now, at least previously, I had, you'll get back to normal. And now a month later- I can get back to busy. Right, and now a month later is, your life- We don't know. Correct, we don't know. And that's awful. Like the doctors felt guilty even having to say, like, we don't know.

34:01
but that's just the truth about life. He said, he goes, I had an old lady have the surgery and within a day she was walking out of here, but you're a very healthy 29 year old. And I was in the hospital for double the amount of time because my pain was so severe. I was on so much pain medication because of just the nerve damage. It was wild. My surgeon just said like, he had never seen a case like this before.

34:30
typically with thoracic outlet, there's symptoms that lead up to all of this happening. It doesn't just happen like that, like my case. Right, yeah. So- Do they know? Is there, can you pinpoint how it manifested? Or is it genetic? So they think it happened because of my bone structure. Just how I was born. And a lot of people it happens like D1 athletes, a lot of...

34:59
pitchers, volleyball players. Obviously I'm not that. So they're kind of natural conclusion. That's not obvious. Yeah, thanks. So they're kind of like natural conclusion was, some people can just be born with, I think they called it like a skinny thoracic area, whatever that means. So- Latest trend. Yeah, apparently. So kind of fast forward. Let me ask you. Yeah. Were you,

35:26
This is me assuming, but based on how you've described your life before, were you someone that was always like, there's always a black and white answer to things or you always had wanted a definitive and this I don't know from your doctor was like scarier than someone saying like, no, you're definitely not going to be able to use your arm. Yes. Yep. I wanted at least you know, then you can plan. Yep. Right. Yeah. I asked, I was like, well, like, what about in a year from now? And he was like, I cannot in my right.

35:56
you know, as a doctor tell you anything because we don't know. Right. So that was obviously a giant pill to swallow. You can't plan if you don't know. Can't plan if you don't know. That's challenging for a planner. Well, that's a lesson that I think that probably changed you in a way. Right. It kind of combining, you know, all the unknowns of what my life was going to look like. Right.

36:23
I didn't know I had nerve damage, right? Until they went in there and saw it. I tried to twist it to be a positive of, we don't know all of- Like intentional, forced? Right, intentional because when I had come home from the hospital, again, all of this happened so fast, right? I never really had the time to research what was happening to me, to actually process what was happening to me either. It was just-

36:52
You're going in for surgery. You're in the hospital for a week. You're home. You're recovering. You're back in for another rib taken out. Then you're home. Now you're back a month later. It was just go, go, go again, per my life. But in that timeframe, I had to stop and be vulnerable, be open, you know, allow others to help. I couldn't cut my own food. I couldn't feed myself. That's very humbling.

37:22
tell you I couldn't do anything. And the guilt that comes with that is extraordinary. I had to sleep in a recliner in my living room for two months because I physically could not lay down without pain. So the experience of being cut off, right, from, I mean, I would have people come over and visit, but they were on the couch, right?

37:50
I just had no physical connection, right, for two months. So the depression. Just with yourself. Yep, just with myself and all my thoughts. And your pain. And all my thoughts and my pain and all my thoughts of, oh, that's not how I would put the dishes away or that's not how I would fold the laundry. But at the end of the day, it just kind of kept coming back to, well, you can't do it all, Robin. So you have to give up that control.

38:18
which is something I have never done. Never have you learned? Yes, now. Now we're great at it. Yeah, delegate like a pro. But through all of this, it just really taught me to be two major life lessons. One, when you need help, there is nothing to be ashamed of to get that help. No, it we assume it. Yeah, it took me kind of time back to the beginning of this podcast. I thought I was alone.

38:49
Right? Of course, every day, everyone's reaching out. How are you feeling? How are you feeling? And there finally got to a point where one of my very close friends said, stop sugarcoating it. How are you feeling? Right. And that's kind of what started, you know, everything for me was breaking that kind of glass ceiling of, oh, I can share my emotions. I can share that, you know, I'm really not doing good. I've watched four seasons of Vampire Diaries in a day and a half.

39:18
What am I doing with my life? Yeah, so it was like a cut the bullshit moment of like a friend telling you to like, let's get out of it. That's a good friend. Hope you're still friends with that person. To this day, I cannot imagine my life without her. And she's been through it all. And it just so happened that she was able to really share some great insight. And that led- And sometimes it's, you have to get to that point though. I feel like sometimes someone might've said that to you.

39:46
six months before that. Someone might have said that to you a thousand times before, but at that moment when there's just a little light peeking through the crack, she was like, let's go. We're going in, we're cracking this. Because I felt alone. I felt no one else feels like this before. No one else is going through what I'm going through. I'm a burden. Exactly, I'm a burden. I can't do everything. The amount of times I would say, I'm sorry to ask you one more thing. Can you fill up my water? Or I know you just sat down, but I'm so sorry. Can you do this?

40:15
And I was like, stop being sorry for asking for things that you need, because everyone around you knows you can't physically do anything. And they also wouldn't offer if they weren't being serious. That is one thing I want everyone to hear. People don't offer to help if they're not serious about helping. Yeah, that was something. And then, you know, for me, reaching out for help, my friend really helped me see that I needed the help because

40:44
When I tell you, this gets me emotional, imagine getting your rib taken out and then curling up in the fetal position on a floor, crying hysterically for no reason. And my husband would just literally coddle my head in his lap. And it got to that point where I think I did that for about a week straight. And I said, I think I need help. Something is not okay.

41:11
So I think, I mean, I think that's important. I mean, a week, a lot of people wouldn't realize that even in a week. Yeah. You know, it's and he was a body will do things that we cannot explain. I was just crying all the time. I was so depressed. And I never thought I'd ever get depression in a million years. Right. Right.

41:34
Are you too busy to get depressed? Exactly. Why would I be depressed? I'm just always on the go, right? Now that I'm sitting with my thoughts, now I'm depressed? Wow, that must suck. But it's not even that. I mean, yeah, it's not even... I think there's like this... I think there are a lot of people that seemingly are happy or busy or living an amazing life that can still feel...

42:00
depression or anxiety or all the things because guess what? We're all human and those are all like parts of it. And I, you know, I hate that the way to finding this, this joy in being a human and this joy and letting other people help you and helping them find happiness too, because I think there's happiness that comes with helping other people, which you know, you used to help people and that brought you happiness. It sucks that like such a tragic,

42:29
piece of your life brought you to this, what seemingly is a good version of you. Like it's weird to look at it that way, right? That's what I always say. People, you know, to this day, it's almost, it's been over two years now, right? It feels like just yesterday for me, obviously. And people always say like, well, how'd you overcome that? Like, what? Like what? And for me, I gave myself

42:58
no choice kind of after the therapy and all of that processing. But I kind of was like, you know, look at your life now, you're happy, right? If this horrible thing didn't happen to you, what would your life have been like? So as horrible of a situation that I had to endure and my family had to endure and how scary that was, I'm so thankful it happened because it just brought

43:28
my relationships with every single person in my life that much closer. You know, what is that phrase? It takes a village. My village came out. And I am so thankful for the village that I still have to this day. They know who they are. And my friends literally were dropping everything to come help.

43:53
watch our dog, right, for the day while my husband was in the hospital with me. They would come and entertain my husband so he didn't have to think, oh, my wife is just sitting at a hospital bed by herself crying and in pain. And you see what love looks like in a different way, I think. Yes. I think when you face something like this, I think you see beyond

44:20
performative aspect of love that I think sometimes we just kind of are conditioned to see or it's just kind of the expected version of love. And this is where you see like, you dive in. Yeah, these people really actually care, physically care. And they want to help. It's not like this performative like, oh, I got you a present or exactly, you know, it's like, it's very, very raw, I guess is maybe the best way to to see that raw. It's interesting, too. Because

44:50
You come in, we come into this conversation, I don't know too much, you gave me a little bit of information about your story. And you've told and you've walked through and I know these are just pieces of your journey, there's a lot more that comes along with it. But the one that stands out to me the most is the moment that your friend really got real with you. Because all the other pieces were like, you had to go along with it, right? Like you had to like.

45:16
go with the surgery, you had to listen to the doctor, you had to do all these things. But this was like where you were like, there's a choice that I need to like, process. And it's just so fascinating, the power of language and the power of words and how the right moment, right time, right words can sometimes change everything. Everything happens for a reason. And that's what I've said since all of this has started. I mean,

45:45
Good for you. I don't know if I totally buy into that. I know. Only because, you know, it's hard. It's tough. It is tough because I don't know. I don't know if we say that to ourselves because I've said these things too. I don't know if we say that to ourselves to make us feel better or if we really, I don't know if I really believe it for me because I think back, you know, like, why would my mom die at 32?

46:15
Was there a reason for that? But then I can go along with the idea of, I wouldn't be this version of Matt had that not happened. But I still don't think that's a great reason. You know what I'm saying? So it's a weird, total weird concept. I get it though, and I hear it a lot. So there must be something to it if people are saying it. So just putting my own thoughts out there. Yeah, and then I think at least for me, kind of taking something so negative,

46:43
and trying to turn it into the best positive that I could be. That was obviously a coping mechanism for me to start, right? But throughout therapy, right, it turned into this beautiful thing. Yeah, becomes like a mission almost. It it really, really does, because I never set out to be an inspiration in any way, shape or form. But after, you know, my surgeries, I returned slowly back to work for about two months and corporate that job. Yep.

47:13
that job and it was just not conducive. I was working way too many hours a day. I was not healing my nerves, right? I'm typing all the time. You can't heal your nerves when you're typing. So one day I just kind of woke up and I was like, I can't, I need to be true to myself if I'm going to continue this journey on, you know. Good for you. Feeling, you know, comfortable in whatever this new Robin looks like. Like you need to give yourself

47:43
some TLC for once because you're not. So I told my husband, I said, I'm- Look at you putting yourself first. Right, so this was like such a huge learning. When I tell you, I had a moment this morning where I pulled into my car, or pulled into my driveway and I thought, you are not the person that you were three, four years ago. I'm so, and I said to myself, I was like, I'm so proud of who you are today, Robin. Good for you. And I never would have thought I would be here today, right? So, you know, up and left corporate.

48:13
did not have a plan, did not have another job lined up. I just needed to focus on what made me happy. And no surprise there, it always came back to helping people. So, but for me, right, I was still at that time only able to lift six months after my surgery, 10 pounds with my hand, with my arm. I physically could not lift more than that. So I made it my mission to get stronger, get my strength back. I had to re-teach myself.

48:43
everything with my left hand, how to open a door, how to turn a faucet on. Still to this day, I mean, I can't hold my arm up for a very long period of time because it becomes painful. But I made it my mission to just do more with my hands, obviously in a safe environment and taking care of myself still, but every single day was what are we gonna do today to make you happy, to put you first, and to make your health a priority.

49:11
So within six months, my life had 360 flipped. And now I was becoming, you know, the new Robin. And through all of this, through this newfound confidence that I had experienced, right, because of this horrible situation turned amazing. I got the confidence, everyone around me, again, my village said, start your own business. What's the worst thing that's gonna happen? You start it for a couple of years and it doesn't work out.

49:40
at least you can say you tried. So for me, I wanted to continue working with my hands and I wanted to help people and do what I love. Bam, Charcuter and Chubbini came to be in cheese. So on an everyday basis, right, we are breaking down wheels of cheese. I'm prepping with my hands, I'm folding salami. I'm constantly working with my hands now on a day-to-day basis. It's like physical therapy through your work. Exactly, that's exactly kind of how I looked at it. And I mean,

50:10
To this day, we book wedded, we're booking weddings, we are doing 150 plus person grazing tables. We are slammed, which is amazing. But none of this would have ever happened in a million years if it weren't for this horrible thing that happened to me. Because I'd probably still be corporate, loving the paycheck, right? We all love our corporate paycheck, but nothing was soul fulfilling to me. And that was always my issue.

50:39
So now, to this day, again, every day, I try to bake in some level of something for me, whether it's five minutes of peace and quiet or reflection, whether it's a meditation, whether it's a face mask. Old Robin would not do that. Oh, Old Robin never. Old Robin would be like, all right, you have to get your nails done, okay. It looks like in three weeks from now, we can maybe squeeze it in here.

51:06
You have a 20-minute window we can put that in. Exactly. Now it's like, no, no. We're doing a pant for a day. We are blocking my day off from work, and we are having ourselves a day. Because why? Because you deserve it. Because you went through hell and back, and you're here. And that's what matters. Right. I mean, it really, it ties back to what you were saying at the beginning of, like, you have this lovely, beautiful, chaotic, messy, fly- life.

51:35
that probably never would have been in four year ago, Robin's mind that like that would be how you would exist in the world and be happy about it. Right. And I think there's something really beautiful about that. There is, and kind of, you know, throughout telling my story over the last two years, like I said earlier, I never ever set out to be an inspiration, but I know a couple of people who have told me directly.

52:02
that they have quit their corporate jobs and pursued their passions because of me. And when someone told- If she can do it, yeah. Yeah, someone said like, if Robin could do it, I could do it. And sorry, I'm getting a little emotional. So for me, I was always kind of, you know, the one like on the side observing, right? Like I never thought I'd be.

52:25
the reason why someone would do something. You were the cheerleader before. Right, I was always the cheerleader, never the leader. And I was always fine with being the cheerleader, but it's so humbling. And really kind of through this, Matt, I want, I obviously don't want what happened to me to happen to anyone. It was the worst experience I could ever go through. Right. But I want people to know that just because society tells us one thing doesn't mean we have to do it.

52:54
Just because you go to college, you need to get a job. That doesn't need to look like nine to five. That can be whatever you want it to be. You go through a crazy life event, you're also not alone. We may not go through the exact same event, but I've been literally on the floor crying because I've been so much excruciating pain and I'm so depressed. I've been there. And I want people to know that

53:24
gets better. It takes time. And when you're in it, you don't see that. So I always try to kind of, you know, I have friends who are to this day in a dark depression still from obviously things happening all the time. We all have friends that are depressed, right? And I try to just make that effort of checking in because, you know, when I was so depressed, sometimes I would just say, I just want someone to say, like, I believe in you. Like, you got this, right?

53:54
We never do that. Society trains us to just live our lives and not really check in on that mental health aspect. I think there's also an element of people that I think if we as a society had more faith in sharing all the parts with each other publicly, being vulnerable, like admitting, like I'm not great today. Yep. But I know that's okay.

54:23
Life is not all super highs or super lows. And I think the more we talk about how we feel, the more we answer honestly when someone says, how are you? The more we do that and normalize that it's not always good, thanks, how are you? But today really sucks and here's why, and thanks for asking. Exactly. I think we can get to a place in which people feel more comfortable.

54:52
being more like you describe, you know, and helping others in a way that maybe is not intentional, like I'm out here to try to help you, I just care. You know, I just want to share. So, you know, I think it's weird to say great that you found this new version of you through such a really terrible experience. It is great. But it sucks the way you had to get there. Exactly, that's what I, yeah, exactly. It sucks that you had to- But at the same time, it's like, do you think-

55:21
your life would have just continued to be just busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, you know? A hundred percent. Yep. Until you hit the wall. Until I had a burnout. You're going to hit the wall. It crashed. Right? Exactly. Yeah. I'm wondering if you could go back to Robin that's sitting alone in her hospital room, just like spiraling. Like what, how am I going to get to work? How am I going to get that project done?

55:47
How am I gonna get my arm fixed? How am I gonna tell my family? Is there anything that like this version of you would wanna tell her, whisper in her ear? Or would you just wanna let it all unfold? I would probably just continue to say like, it's going to be okay. I know you can't see it right now, but you need to trust the process. Every body is different. Everyone heals differently. Everyone reacts to everything differently.

56:16
That's the issue with medicine, right? No one can give you a definitive answer because no two people are alike. Right. So what I think I would just tell her is, you got this. You are stronger than you ever could have imagined. People look up to you. Heck, my own mother, I can't tell you the amount of times that she made me cry because she just kept saying like, you are my idol right now. I could never go through what you went through.

56:44
or what you're going through. And I would just tell her like, you're strong. You're a strong ass woman. You got this girlfriend. Like just keep going because it's gonna get better. You're gonna live out your dream that you never even knew you had. You didn't even know you had it. I didn't even know I ever wanted to own my own business. And here I am. And it's so just like pinch me. Like a couple months ago, I did a new segment and it debuted on Valentine's day.

57:14
about my Thoracic Outlets journey. And I know it's kind of tied in my grandmother with all, all of that, it's just, it's such an emotional, crazy, amazing roller coaster that, yeah, just keep doing it, girlfriend. You will get there, I promise you. It sucks, but don't sit in the mud. You will get there. Just keep going. One foot in front of the other. That's what I tell myself on a daily basis.

57:43
And that's good. That's how we can only live in the present, right? So like, pick the things that we want to do that make us happy, that bring us joy. There are going to be things that we don't want to do that we have to do. Right. Do them. Yep. And then focus on the things that you want to. Before you tell us how we can connect with you, please just tell everyone what your email signature sign off is because I love it so much. And then you can tell us how to contact you. So like I said earlier, we're fun, we're classy, but we like to, you know,

58:11
poke some fun at everything, right? So my email sign off is, Brie awesome and stay cheesy. I love it. It's so good. So if people want to learn more about what you offer, I mean, I don't know, is it all just local at this point? Yeah, so at this point in time, we do kind of driving deliveries. We're not shipping at this point in time, but if you're in the local Mass, North Shore area, definitely reach out. And also if people just wanna connect for personal reasons,

58:41
Please reach out. I would love- Yeah, tell us how to do that. Yep, so for me, you're gonna reach out to at Boards4Days, B-O-A-R-D-S F-O-R D-A-Y-S underscore on Instagram. You can also hit us up, hello, at Boards4Days.com. Check out our website, of course, Boards4Days.com. And we're also on Facebook, as you guessed it, at Boards4Days.

59:07
We'll put all those links too in the show notes so people can easily access it. And I think for business sake, if they're local, definitely check that out. See what she's doing. Support her on Instagram and socials and things like that. But also, if you're going through a moment or maybe you're facing the same exact condition and you want to talk through it or you want to see like, compare war stories or whatever it may be, I know that Robin would want to hear from you and connect with you. So please take.

59:34
advantage of that, whether she's going to say it out loud or not. OK, because I think that's so important. This connections and feeling like we aren't alone is so important. It'll help with depressive feelings or those other feelings that come about in other ways. So please take advantage of that. I think I think that's it. I think we've we've hit this place. Thank you so much for sharing your story and sharing multiple like.

01:00:00
They were like incremental little shifts that kind of got you to this. Like it just kept turning it a little bit. Can't see what I'm doing if you're listening, but just like turning something in front of my face, but it feels like each one was a notch getting you closer to this version of you. So thank you for sharing your story. Thank you guys for listening to the life shift podcast. If, if you enjoy the show or it's your first time here, if you could give me a rating and review on Apple podcasts, I would love that. But.

01:00:27
With that, I will say goodbye for now. I'll be back next week with a brand new episode, and we'll see you then. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Robyn. Thank you. Brie, awesome, and stay cheesy. I love it.