Day 21: Finding Light in Holiday Memories – 30 days, 30 episodes

I'm MacGill Hooley, and this is the Life Shift Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.

Hello, my friends.

Welcome to day 21 of 30 Days, 30 episodes of the Life Shift podcast.

And if you haven't listened before, this is the 21st day in a row that I show up live, usually after work, and I either look at a list or I've just talked to someone, or I just came up with something, and I respond to that in a short, ish episode.

And I'm just trying to do this every day, not trying to record ahead.

So today I am going to talk about the holidays because we are coming up on Thanksgiving, which is next week, which somehow we're already here, although it feels like it should be this week.

So that's just odd.

But thinking back on holidays and kind of how we see them, and maybe you have traditions that are interesting to you.

I think the older I get, the less I have a solidified tradition and the less attached to the holidays I feel.

I think when I say holidays, I think mostly of Christmas.

I can't really think back and.

And think of a really true tradition that I had at Thanksgiving.

Part of it is probably because I've moved so many times in my life that we were always somewhere new, and sometimes we were in states where our family wasn't nearby.

And then when I went away to college, it wasn't always convenient to go home during the holidays.

And then as I got older, I just started creating my own quote unquote traditions.

And so I don't really have too much attachment to that.

But I can say that after my mom died, we really started this tradition of spending a lot of the Christmases, especially when my grandmother moved down to South Florida with us or near us.

We really started this tradition with her and, and made it just like this crazy thing that we always look forward to.

And it got a little out of hand, like, I guess in a good way for a long time, according to other people.

From the outside, other people are like, you guys are a little bit nuts.

But basically it would be my grandmother, my dad, and myself.

And it was like, for a long time, it was like kind of the three of us.

I mean, there were other parties involved at other times, but for the three of us, we really love to spend Christmas Eve together.

And then we would spend Christmas together.

And on Christmas Eve, sometimes we got wrapped up in this, this unwrapping one thing, and then, oh, let's just do one more.

And then let's do One more.

And I remember when I was, like, 12 or 13, we just kept going.

And then by the time we were done, it was super late into Christmas morning.

But then there was, like, nothing left to unwrap on Christmas Day, which, you know, was a fun experience and something that we could think about later and laugh about.

But what happened as I started to get older is we started just, like, buying, like, way too much for each other because we all had this thing where we really like to give the gifts.

And then it turns out that all three of us like to do that, so that there was always, like, a pile of, like, 50 gifts for the three of us.

And it was just a little intense.

But my grandmother loved giving gifts.

She loved getting gifts to the point in which sometimes she would ask if she could open other people's presents just because she liked unwrapping it.

And a lot of that comes from a childhood that she had that she didn't have a lot.

And her father wasn't very kind.

And so there were a lot of things that she was lacking there growing up.

Her mom died when she was a kid, and so I think she was able to kind of let the kid in her come out during the holiday season.

And so she really liked doing that.

And so we had some great traditions of going to Olive Garden on Christmas Eve and having dinner there, and then going back to the house and unwrapping presents and spending time together and then doing the Christmas dinner and unwrapping the next day and just having a really good time.

So those were really good memories.

And then after she passed away, Christmas didn't quite feel the same anymore.

I think we were all living through her and how much she loved doing it, and so the traditions kind of went away.

It doesn't mean that I don't like Christmas.

I do like Christmas.

I do like Christmas decorations.

In fact, I already put my tree up.

I put my tree up.

I think last week.

A lot of that comes from having a rough year, losing Mikey, and then through the election season.

That was a lot for a lot of people, including myself.

And so it was just like, let's just bring some cheer.

Put up the Christmas tree tree.

It makes me happy.

Every morning I turn on the Christmas tree, and it's on all day until I go to bed.

And it just.

It's a nice little reminder of, like, happy times and happy memories.

I will also say that I have been fortunate since 1999, when I moved up to Orlando to go to college.

I became quick friends with my Friend Brent and his family really just brought me into the fold.

And starting from, like, week two of college, I was going back and hanging out with his family during hurricanes, during holidays, during any time that I wasn't going to visit my own family, I was invited over.

So it was that Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, all sorts of things, and I just became one of the family.

And so over the years, I've been able to go to so many family events and feel like I belonged there.

And I don't know what we'll do this year.

I don't know if that's part of what's in the cards.

Everything just feels a little weird this year, just in general.

But I'm just so thankful for the last, like, 25 years, I've had the opportunity to spend time with a family that is not by blood, but people that chose to allow me into their lives and be a part of that.

And so I never really ever felt too alone on a holiday.

And I guess that's a good thing.

And I can attach myself to memories of the times that my dad and I got to spend with my grandmother during her favorite time of year.

I would.

I would venture to say it's her favorite time of year.

And so those memories are really sweet, and those are things that I'll always remember.

But as far as other traditions go, I don't think I had any.

I can remember little spots growing up.

I don't really remember too much about my mom and the Christmases that I had with her.

I do know, just as a little side note, I knew she didn't like Christmas very much.

And the reason she didn't like Christmas very much is because when she was 18, two days before Christmas, her father died of a heart attack shoveling snow outside.

And I remember hearing stories from my dad and my dad's mom about how they got the call and they ran a couple blocks down the street to go sit with the family and do all these things and remember how hard that season was.

And then it kind of, like, made sense.

The one Christmas I remember with my mom, I remember it being like, December 23rd, 24th.

We didn't have a tree yet, and my parents had.

Were divorced at this time.

And I remember going to Kmart with her, and we purchased a fully decorated, fully lit tree and brought that home.

And that was our Christmas tree that year.

And I think that might be the same year that I have this one VHS tape of a Christmas moment when my grandfather and his wife came over to See my mom and me for Christmas and I.

I think I got my Nintendo that year maybe, and I got Chapstick, which is in the video.

And it's just a little bit ridiculous.

But that's the one memory I have of having Christmas with my mom.

It's kind of sad to think about that I don't have those memories, but again, I was only 8, so it's kind of hard to have those memories last as long as they do.

And all of this random rambling comes from thinking about how we all have these different attachments to the holidays.

Some people hate the holidays because they remind them of experiences that they had as a child that weren't so great.

Some people used to be super religious and felt forced into that.

And then now that they are no longer religious, they feel a certain way about certain holidays and so that rubs them the wrong way.

Some people are like all into it and decorate to the nines and that just brings them joy and it's something that they really enjoy.

But I don't think there's a right way to do any of it.

I mean, a little side note, it's very weird to think that people get more presents on somebody else's birthday than on their own birthday.

Have you ever thought of that?

Like, so I get more presents on Jesus's birthday than I do on my own.

Okay.

But that's just a random little side thought for you.

So in any case, I hope you are doing what works for you this holiday season.

I hope you are choosing the things that bring you joy and the things that make you happy.

And this should be the time that you get to do that.

If you are feeling sad and alone, that's okay too.

If this is just not your season and you're just trying to get through, that's okay.

If you need to talk, I'm around.

Please reach out to me.

I am happy to talk about that.

But in any case, this went nowhere this whole day.

21.

But those were my random rambling thoughts on the holidays and some of the traditions that I had and some of the things that I haven't done.

But I am super grateful for my family and my adopted family here in Orlando that has taken care of me for over 25 years for all sorts of different holidays.

So thank you to you for listening.

Thank you to my adopted family, thank you to my regular family.

And I will be back tomorrow on day 22, which will be a Friday.

And I'm going to see Wicked in the afternoon.

So who knows when I'm going to record probably after that, so maybe it'll just be a review for Wicked.

Other than that, I'm going to say goodbye because I can't stop talking.

So have a great day 21 and I will see you tomorrow.

For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.