Day 12: Spread a Little Kindness - 30 days, 30 episodes

Matt Gilhooly
00:00:01

I'm Matt Gilhooly, and this is the Life Shift Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever. Hello, my friends. Welcome to day 12 of this little experiment. And I don't know why I keep calling it a little experiment.

It's a lot, and it's kind of fun, but it's also a lot. So this is 30 days, 30 episodes on the Life Shift podcast. It's a special bonus series in which perhaps you will get to know me a little bit more.

My thought is that through all the episodes so far, 156 episodes of the Life Shift podcast, you've got to hear amazing pivotal moment stories from a bunch of other people. And I interject and I ask my questions that are based on my own curiosity and my own experiences.

But at the same time, maybe you're only getting little pieces of the way I think, or whatever it may be.

So my thought is, these 30 days, I will look at some prompts and I will answer some questions, and maybe you'll get to know me just a little bit more.

So if you have any ideas of what I should talk about or any kind of questions that I should address, go ahead and send me a message on social media, the Life Shift podcast, on Instagram and all those places, I think Twitter, it's Life Shift pod. But you can also email me@Matthewpodcast.com and I will put that on the list.

So today I was actually talking to my friend Olivia at work, and we were talking about what should I talk about today? And she gave me this, like, really great statement to think about.

And it was all about, like, traveling and multicultural experiences and really exposing yourself to those things.

And I was like, wow, that's going to take a little bit more of me to figure out how to answer that in the most appropriate way to give it enough weight. And all the things that maybe I've experienced so far in any of my travels, but it made me think of something else.

It made me think of something that I do that I think some people that I travel with don't mind it so much, and they kind of like it. And then some people that I travel with don't really love it. And the idea is, do you talk to strangers when you are traveling?

Say you're in an Uber, you are on a plane, you are somewhere else that you're not in your regular bubble or your space. Do you have real conversations with the people around you?

Do you try to make conversations, ask people questions about what they're doing or how they are or make little jokes with them, because if you don't, I highly recommend it. Not only are you hopefully making that other person feel seen and heard, but maybe you're making their day a little bit better.

Maybe they've had a terrible day and they're in the service industry and people are just rude all the time and you can just ask them good questions to have them feel like a human again. I know many people have worked in service. I myself have worked in food service and in retail.

Highly recommend that everyone should have to work in those spaces because I think it gives you a different perspective when you enter as a customer or as just another person walking through that space.

But we all know how sometimes we had to put on a happy face or we had to pretend that things were fine and engage with others in a way that just wasn't serving that moment. But if we show up as genuine humans in most of the spaces that we go, perhaps, perhaps we can make more connections.

I think a lot of people now are feeling very divided, myself included, from people that maybe have different opinions about certain things, about rights that people have or how they navigate this world or actually this country or their state that they live in, or their local government, whatever it may be. I think a lot of people are feeling very divided.

What I have learned through the Life Shift podcast is that when it comes down to that basic level of the human experience, we have so many more things in common than what sets us apart.

So, you know, like, we might be facing a really hard moment, and maybe we can't relate exactly to that moment, but as individuals, we might be able to relate to how that person is feeling in that moment.

One thing reminds me of, and I don't know how I just got here from this long tangent, but one thing that reminds me of is something that I've talked to a few people about now is this worst moment kind of thing. And I think that a lot of people can relate to the idea of, oh, so and so had a really tough xyz. My worst moment can't compare to their worst moment.

And we do this comparison thing because I think that's just like a natural response or something that we're used to doing.

And a couple of the conversations really set me thinking about it a little bit differently because truly, if it is our worst moment that we've ever experienced, that is the worst moment we've ever experienced.

So therefore, if someone else has the worst experience that they've ever experienced, then those feelings might be similar because we can't imagine anything worse because that is the worst we've ever experienced.

And so if we think about that and we think about the emotions that are tied into so many of the things that we do on a regular basis, whether that be really happy things or joyful things or whatever it may be, perhaps we think about how much more we connect with these other people.

Like our happiest moment, it's probably as relatable to someone else's happiest moment because it's the happiest they've ever been or it's the happiest we've ever been. So therefore there's those connections.

And so bringing it back to the original prompt of some sort is the idea that I like to travel and talk to the people around me. So that means if I'm in an Uber, I'm going to be asking the questions.

I have a full on conversation with the driver if that's something that they seem like they want. And we go back and forth and sometimes it's like, how do I finish this conversation before I end up at the airport?

Or how do I finish it before the drop off point or whatever it may be. But still there's that connection that's a human connection.

I may have never met them before, I may never meet them again, but maybe there's something in that moment where something one of us says sticks with us.

Or I can remember we sat on the plane and this flight attendant, she was having a really terrible day and she was just like over people because I'm sure you've encountered people on planes that are just not so nice as far as, you know, people that are flying, not the actual people that are working there. And so we just sat there. We were in the front row and she was kind of waiting for everyone to sit down and get ready to take off or whatever.

And we just started chit chatting with her and making jokes and talking about whatever and asking her how she was and really digging deep and realizing she wasn't having a great time. And by the end of the trip she gave us extra drinks and extra snacks and all these extra things.

She's just like, you guys are so nice and thank you for doing that. It didn't take anything for me to do that.

It didn't take anything for the people with me to do extra hello and ask questions and just be a genuine human.

And therefore those things remind me of like, let's just be nice to each other and have these conversations instead of continually living in our little silos. Because now that we all work a little bit more from home. We don't interact with people as much as we used to.

And then when we do go out, we're either way too interactive, maybe that's me, or we don't interact at all. We just head down, like looking down.

And maybe if we connect more, we'll just feel more connected and then the next time we'll just, it'll just feel more natural. You also like being nice to people. Pays off, right? In more ways than one. Yes. Like humanity wise, it pays off.

But like you can be nice to someone and maybe you get a little extra of whatever your service that you're, you're trying to get is whether that's when you're checking into a hotel room and you're just being nice to those people and asking them questions and just being a genuine human being that is appreciative of the work that this person is doing, maybe you get a little upgrade, maybe you get whatever sent to your room because you were kind to them.

And so not to say that you should be doing this in hopes that you get those things, but I think when you put good things into the universe, you are more likely to get something good back. And if not, hopefully it made you feel good to do that. So, like, win, win no matter what you get.

So I'm not saying just go be nice so you can get more things, but doesn't hurt, right?

And so this whole point of this is me, the annoying person with some people on our travels of talking to people in Ubers, and you know the person that I'm thinking of right now, you know that I'm talking about you. And you know that the trip that we went on and you were like, you don't need to talk to everyone like that. And it's just, it's a good thing.

It makes us feel good.

And I know that I'm not going to change a lot of minds, but if you are out there and you're traveling or you're interacting with someone, just add a little extra kindness to the way that you approach it.

And I think this week actually, and my friend Robert Peter Paul, who has the Art of Kindness podcast, just celebrated like the launch of season four of his podcast on, I think International Kindness Day. So that's a thing. We should make it every day.

But like, let's start with one day or start with one week or start with a month and just put more kindness into the world. I think it's super important.

And if you are listening, Robert, thank you for being a part of the Life Shift podcast and thank you for what you put into the world. It is very special. So if you're someone that is into entertainers and Broadway stars and kindness, you should check out the Art of Kindness podcast.

I think they're in season four and he is just a ball of energy and light and such a great show to listen to.

So if you need a little inspiration to be a little kinder in the world, or you want me to stop talking and you want to listen to someone else, I highly recommend checking out the Art of Kindness podcast. And so with that, here is or here was day 12 of 30 days, 30 episodes of the Life Shift Podcast. Thank you for coming along.

Thank you for listening to me ramble about being kind to strangers. And I will see you tomorrow for Day 13. For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.